Athena Can Have Fun, Too
by PeacexLovexPercabeth
Summary: "PUH-LEEZE, Owl Head, you wouldn't know fun if it came up to you and bit you on the butt!" "Oh yeah? I bet you 700 drachmas that I can have more fun than you and Apollo combined!" "It's on! Loser wears Aphrodite's clothes!"
1. Bet

**I know. I know what you're thinking: HOW DARE YOU WRITE ANOTHER STORY WHEN YOU'RE NOT FINISHED WITH "POSSESED"? Well, when I get a good story idea I just GOTTA write it. I know I'll regret this.**

_Poseidon POV_

It started on Monday. We were all sitting in throne room, bored to tears as Athena lectured about the importance of typewriters. How did she even get into typewriters, anyway? I had just said that SeaWorld was better than any museum and then she got mad at me. Ugh, stupid wisdom goddess.

"So, _Poseidon_, typewriters are awesome," Athena concluded. Finally! It was over.

"Gosh, Athena," I grumbled. "Don't you know how to have fun?"

"I KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN!" Athena snapped. "Typewriters are fun."

"PUH-LEEZE, Owl Head, you wouldn't know fun if it came up to you and bit you on the butt!"

"Oh yeah? I bet you 700 drachmas that I can have more fun than you and Apollo _combined_!"

"It's on! Loser wears Aphrodite's clothes!"

Aphrodite squealed.

"Oh, Athena, you're going to look _soooo _beautiful," Aphrodite gushed.

"No, I'm not. Because I'm going to win the contest," Athena snapped. Zeus moaned.

"WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP! YOU'RE GIVING ME A GODLY HEADACHE! Meeting dismissed," he grumbled, storming out of the throne room. Get it? "Storming"? Okay fine, _don't _laugh at my puns. Jerk.

_Athena's POV_

Poseidon thinks he knows what he's doing. He's wrong. I'm the Goddess of Wisdom, right? So I know everything! That means I know how to have fun. Poseidon is so going to lose. And when he wears Aphrodite's clothes I'm going to take digital pictures and send it to Camp Half-Blood. Oh yeah! I'M ON FIRE!

_No, no, not really, Hephaestus. _

Where was I? Oh yeah, evil laughing.

MUAHAHAHA AHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA and so on…


	2. Hot Athena and EPIC FAIL Robbery

_Poseidon POV_

Athena is so going to lose. And you, my dear readers, will be so entertained to see me win. Who rocks? I rock!

So Hermes is basically the ring master or whatever you want to call him in this bet. He'll be monitoring both of us each day. And whoever had the most fun that day gets 25 points. The god with the most points win. And of course, I'm going to have the most points. I mean, seriously! Athena? Having fun? That's less possible than Zeus wearing Aphrodite's makeup. And believe me…that _has _happened.

So today is the first day for monitoring. Let's see who gets the most points! (Me)

_Athena POV_

Poseidon is going to lose. Hard. And he'll look so stupid wearing Aphrodite's clothes and makeup. So, I'm pretty sure Kelp Head has told you about the monitoring thing. Today's the first day. And I'm totally going to win because I had some serious fun today.

_Day 1: Athena_

Athena was pacing around central park, wondering how the Hades she was going to have more fun than Poseidon. Suddenly, she felt extremely hungry. There was a nearby chicken shack so Athena decided to go there and get a little…naughty.

Athena walked into the chicken shack. Apparently, mortals got hungry a lot because they were darting in and out like crazy. But the place was actually pretty slow. There was only one worker and he was a bit attractive. But he was slow as well. Athena felt like she actually had waited ten minutes at the line. Even when it was her turn to order, the guy was still busy doing something in the back. Finally, she got impatient and yelled.

"SIR, IF YOU DO NOT COME OUT HERE IN TWENTY SECONDS I WILL BE TAKING MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!" Athena yelled. The guy didn't come out.

"I'M STARTING TO COUNT," Athena shouted. "TWENTY…NINETEEN…EIGHTEEN…SEVENTEEN…SIXTEEN…FIFTEEN…FOURTEEN…THIRTEEN…TWELVE…ELEVEN…TEN…NINE…EIGHT…SEVEN…SIX…FIVE…FOUR…THREE…TWO…ONE! SIR, I AM TAKING MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!"

*Fake footsteps*

Apparently, the guy didn't care if Athena was leaving. One less customer to worry about.

So Athena tried Plan B. The Hot Girl Disguise. She got it from watching some chick who called herself Jenna Marbles on YouTube. The girl was actually pretty funny and she had these AWESOME ways of getting people to stop talking to you. One was "The Face". I _have _to try that sometime with Poseidon, Athena thought.

Athena went back to Olympus and sneaked some makeup from Aphrodite's room. She hoped no one saw her. Particularly, Aphrodite. Wait a minute! That was the answer! No one could give out better beauty makeovers than the goddess of beauty herself.

Athena (grudgingly) found Aphrodite and forced herself to ask the terrible question.

"Aphrodite, will you…give me a beauty makeover?"

Aphrodite squealed with excitement. "Oh, Thena, I thought you'd never ask. So you've accepted the fact that you're going to lose and you're taking your makeover early, huh?"

"NO! I WANT A MAKEOVER TO ATTRACT A GUY!"

Aphrodite started jumping up and down. "OOOH, EVEN BETTER! IT'S POSEIDON, ISN'T IT? I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER."

Athena almost smacked Aphrodite. "NO, I JUST WANT A FREAKIN' MAKEOVER! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?"

"No, I'm sorry, Thena. Come on, let's give you a makeover so hot Megan Fox will be jealous!"

Aphrodite led Athena into her favorite beauty salon. The salon looked like a Barbie movie set. _Everything _was pink and glittery, even the cash register. It made Athena want to barf.

"Hey, Jennifer, I need a makeover pronto!" Aphrodite yelled at someone. As fast as lightning, a girl scrambled up to Aphrodite and Athena. The girl looked like a real life Bratz doll. She had big blue eyes and long, curly, blonde hair. Her makeup and fashion sense was perfect. She looked more like one of Aphrodite's kids rather than a stylist.

"Anything you want, Amorette," the girl known as Jennifer gushed.

"You go by Amorette now?" Athena whispered, leaning in close to Aphrodite to make sure Jennifer didn't hear.

"It means Little Love!" Aphrodite replied. "So, Jennifer, I need you to turn…ah…Antoinette here into a fashion diva!"

Jennifer studied Athena. "Hmm, she'll need a lot of work."

"Offensive," Athena snapped.

"Come with me, Antoinette," Jennifer said, leading Athena over to a vanity. "Sit down, hon."

"I'm not your hon."

"Antoinette, be nice," Aphrodite scolded. Athena folded her arms and mumbled something under her breath.

Jennifer was just as good with makeup as she looked because by the time Athena was finished she looked like she had gotten Aphrodite's blessing! Athena was decked out in light purple eye shadow that made her gray eyes pop out and glossy pink lipstick that made her look really girly. Jennifer had gone light on the blush. She'd also picked out a purple half-shoulder shirt that revealed Athena's stomach, jeans, and black high heels.

"Thena, you look like a totally bombshell!" Aphrodite exclaimed. "Thank you so much, Jennifer!"

"No prob, Amorette," Jennifer replied. "Come back soon, hon."

After Athena had gotten her bombshell makeover she went back to the chicken shack to put her plan into action. Only this time she went to the back of the shack where the chicken, fries, burgers, and other foods were cooking. She knocked on the door.

When the worker dude opened the door his jaw dropped upon seeing Athena.

"Excuse me," Athena said seductively, batting her eyelashes. "It's so hot out here and I'd really like a soda with some fries."

"Uh…um…well, you're going to…um…uh…order in the store," the dude said.

"Hmm, that's too bad. I thought you would give me, a very hot girl, the time of day. And the time of day I would like would totally be in the bedroom. But I _have _to eat, of course," Athena replied.

"Wow…um…I've never had a girl come on to me before. But I'm sorry. I can't give you any free food."

"Oh…well, I'm a black belt in Karate. Are you _still _not going to give me free food?"

"Nope."

"Unwise decision."

Athena kicked the guy in his nuts and punched his face. The poor worker dude fell to the ground in pain.

Athena ran into the chicken shack with the speed of a ninja. She grabbed fries, a huge cheeseburger, and five pieces of chicken.

"WHOO, HOO! I AM HOT ATHENA, NO ONE DARES NOT GIVE ME FREE FOOD!" she yelled as she ran out, doing cartwheels and backflips.

Athena slumped down by the side of a store, biting into her food.

"Let's see Poseidon beat that," Athena smiled to herself.

_Day 1: Poseidon_

Poseidon put on a ski mask, all black clothes, and stole one of Ares's huge guns. He took several inhales and exhales and then finally ran into the store.

"EVERYBODY GET ON THE GROUND!" he yelled. The mortals began to scream. "I SAID GET ON THE FREAKING GROUND. WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?"

The mortals got on the ground. Poseidon stormed over to the cashier.

"GIVE ME ALL YOUR WATER GUNS!" Poseidon ordered. The cashier (who was a nerdy-looking guy named Bob) raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me, Mister Bank Robber," the guy said.

"WHAT?"

"We don't sell water guns here."

"WHAT? WHAT KIND OF MOTHER FUDGING STORE IS THIS?"

"It's not a store. It's a library."

Poseidon looked around and saw that it was indeed a library. And the "cashier" was actually the librarian.

"Oh," he said. "Now I feel stupid." He turned towards the mortals. "Sorry, dudes. Get back to your…books."

Poseidon left the store awkwardly.

Then, he tried another store. This time he _checked _to make sure it was a store and NOT a library.

It was some place named Benny's Market. Perfect for robbing.

Poseidon inhaled and exhaled and then ran into the store.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!" he ordered. The mortals screamed and did what Poseidon said. Poseidon stomped over to the cashier.

"I WANT ALL OF YOUR WATER GUNS!" he said. The cashier had a rude look and long curly hair. She was chewing gum like a freaking cow.

"We out of water guns," the cashier said. She had a nasally and annoying voice.

"THEN I WANT SOME SPRAY GUNS!"

"We out of spray guns."

"THEN I WANT SOME PAINT!"

"We out paint. In fact we out of everything."

Poseidon groaned. "HOW CAN YOU BE OUT OF EVERYTHING? THERE ARE LOTS OF STUFF ON THE FREAKING SHELVES! SO HOW THE WATERY FUDGE CAN YOU BE OUT OF EVERYTHING?"

"Listen, Mr. Robber Dude, if you're looking for something you gotta go to the cashier."

"YOU _ARE _THE CASHIER!"

"That's my business. The point is that you gotta go ask someone else 'cause I don't have time for stupid people like you."

"Are you aware that I have a gun loaded with BULLETS?"

"Please, that gun doesn't have any bullets."

"Oh yeah?" Poseidon aimed his gun at a glass cup but when he shot nothing came out.

"That doesn't look like bullets to me."

"You're a freaking retard. I'm wasting my time talking to you."

"I'm not the one who tried to rob a store with bullets in my gun."

Poseidon rolled his eyes and walked out. That was an EPIC FAIL!

_Judging Time_

Poseidon and Athena met up with Hermes in his room.

"So who won?" they both demanded. Hermes rolled his eyes.

"To be honest both of your performances were fucking pathetic. But I have to say Athena's was less pathetic than yours. For Zeus's sake, Poseidon, you tried to rob a freaking store with any bullets in your gun. That was an EPIC FAIL!"

**What do you think? That "we're out of" scene was from Madea's Big Happy Family at the beginning when Madea tried to order food and the stupid girl kept saying they were out of everything. Review! :D**


	3. No Makeup and a Glitter Party with Kesha

_Day 2: Poseidon_

It was a fairly peaceful night at Camp-Half Blood. The perfect night to ruin, Poseidon thought.

Poseidon had a pretty nasty prank up his sleeve that day. He decided to try harder. He couldn't let Athena win the bet. Poseidon knew he would NOT look manly in Aphrodite's designer clothes and couture makeup. But Poseidon was actually pretty proud of his plan. Before he zapped to camp he'd bought a doll. Yes, a doll. But not just any doll. One of those Amazing Amanda baby dolls. You know. The one that talks and actually BLINKS.

Poseidon had jacked up the doll's face as well. He smeared Aphrodite's black nail polish all over her lips and used a knife to make artificial scars. And he'd also smudged paint all over her cute little dress. He made a microphone connected to the doll so which ever word he spoke, the doll spoke. He'd also wired the lights in the Aphrodite cabin so they would flicker on and off. He had this plan down.

Poseidon quietly sneaked the doll into the Aphrodite cabin and seated it on a vanity. Then, he crouched behind the Aphrodite cabin and prepared to put his plan in action.

Drew was the first to notice the doll.

"Ugh," she grumbled. "Who put that ugly doll on my vanity? It was you, wasn't it?" Drew pointed an accusatory and manicured finger at Silena Beauregard **(AN: This story takes place between Battle of Labyrinth and Last Olympian, so Silena hasn't died yet)**.

"What are you talking about, Drew?" Silena replied. "I don't even own a doll."

"Oh, that's an Amazing Amanda doll," a girl named Mandy squealed. "I used to have one of those! Except, it doesn't look quiet as ugly."

"Well, someone please take it out of here. It looks extremely creepy," Lacy said.

Suddenly, the lights started to flicker on and off.

"Who's doing that?" Silena asked, her voice shaking.

"No one' s even by the light," Mandy pointed out.

"Someone's trying to scary us," Drew said. "WHOEVER YOU ARE, STOP!"

Poseidon cleared his throat and began to speak into the microphone in a scary voice.

"You can't stop me," Poseidon said.

All of the Aphrodite kids turned to face the Amazing Amanda doll.

"Is she doing this?" Mandy asked. Drew rolled her eyes.

"Let's just dump this stupid doll," Drew snapped.

"You will not dump me," the demon doll/Poseidon said. "I HAVE DONE SOMETHING TERRIBLE!"

"Oh, and what is that?" Drew challenged.

"I'VE THROWN OUT ALL OF THE MAKEUP AND PERFUME!" the demon doll/Poseidon replied.

The beautiful night was ruined as ear-piercing screams were heard from Aphrodite's cabin.

_Day 2: Athena_

_Dear Kesha,_

_I am a huge fan of your music and I am inviting you to a glitter party over at my house today. Come as soon as you get this letter. My address is 171 Maplewood Street in San Francisco, California. XOXO._

_Sincerely Athena,_

_P.S. There will be lots of glitter! :)_

Athena smirked as she mailed in the letter. She was going to beat Poseidon…again. What could be more fun than a party with pop sensation Kesha **(Kesha is awesome!)**? And not just any party! A glitter party! Everyone knows there is nothing Kesha loves more than glitter.

And maybe Kesha would bring other awesome celebrities like Nicki Minaj or P!nk or Wiz Khalafia. Holy Zeus that would be awesome!

Athena decided to stop daydreaming and to start decorating. She bought as much glitter as she could from the 99¢ Store. She also got punch, soda, alcoholic drinks (courtesy of Dionysus), chips, nachos, fries, burgers, practically all of the food and drink you would see at a teenage party.

After she was finished decorating and setting up the party stuff Athena waited for Kesha to come. When it was past 8:00 p.m. Athena was about to give up when she heard her doorbell ring. She opened the door and saw none other than…KESHA!

"Hey, Athena," Kesha greeted. "I heard about your glitter party. I also brought my famous friends a long if you don't mind."

Athena almost fainted. "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING! LET'S PARTY!"

Needless to say, the party was amazing.

Athena soon found herself drinking down a _lot_ of booze and vodka. The feeling was amazing.

"Wow, you sure can drink," Megan Fox from the Transformers movies commented. Athena bitchslapped her.

"WHERE THE HECK IS MY GUIDO, MOTHA FUDGA?" Athena snapped. Megan Fox looked at her like she was crazy.

"I think you've had enough," Megan Fox said, proceeding to take the bottles away from Athena.

"NO! YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH! YOU THINK YOU'RE SOOOOO SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU JUST SO HAPPENED TO RIDE PRINCESS PONY GLITTERS IN THE WORLD OF SPARKLELAND AND TITTY BANGED JESSICA SIMPSON!"

Megan Fox gasped and started to cry. "HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ANOUT THAT? NO ONE WAS SO SUPPOSED TO KNOW!"

Megan Fox ran out of the room. Everyone stared at Athena in shock.

"Wow, you scared off Megan Fox," Nicki Minaj said.

"We all hated her. Especially after what she said about me," Scarlet Johansson added. "LET'S PARTY EVEN HARDER!"

They partied even harder.

_The Hermes Show_

The bet between Athena and Poseidon had gotten so interesting on Olympus that Hermes decided to create a talk-show all about it. One of my best ideas, he thought.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" exclaimed a random voice. "Get ready for the HE-HE-HE-HERMES SHOW!"

The audience clapped as Hermes, the host, ran out and greeted them. Then he sat down in his special little talk-show-host chair.

"What's up my future pranksters?" Hermes greeted. The audience cheered and clapped even louder. "Well, it looks like the Poseidon-Athena bet is getting quiet heated up. Who do you think will win today?"

About a hundred hands in the audience went up. Hermes picked a girl that looked about 15.

The girl stood up and said, "I totally think it'll be Poseidon today."

Hermes picked a boy about 19.

The boy said, "I agree with her. It'll totally be Poseidon. That prank on Aphrodite's cabin was priceless."

Hermes picked another boy that looked 13.

The boy said, "Poseidon all the way."

Hermes rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. "(Bleep) you, (Bleep) you, and (Bleep) you! _EVERYONE _KNOWS THAT THERE IS NOTHING MORE FUN THAN A GLITTER PARTY WITH KESHA! FOR THOSE STUPID ANSWERS I WILL INCINERATE YOU ALL!"

In loving memory of Bella, Edward, and Jacob. Three stupid kids who didn't know that nothing is more fun than a glitter party with Kesha…


	4. Assination of Yo Gabba Gabba and Karoake

_Day 4: Poseidon_

Poseidon totally knew he was going to win that day. He had a BRILLIANT plan! A plan that not even Athena could beat. So want to know what the plan was? Well, keep reading. You can't just expect me to explain all the plans and THEN write the story. It's not going to work that way, tubby.

So, earlier that morning Poseidon stole a gun from Ares. He wasn't really planning to do anything violent. It's just that in the morning he found his TV stuck on that ANNOYING show Yo Gabba Gabba. The stuff on that show was so retarded it pissed Poseidon off. So, he decided to end his anger…forever. After he came up with his plan, he stole a gun from Ares.

Poseidon zapped himself to the Nick. Jr studio. He had his gun magically hidden so he could pop it out when he needed it. Seriously! Which studio for a little kids' show would let a guy with a gun walk in? O.o

Poseidon walked directly to where Yo Gabba Gabba was being filmed. He walked in and smirked, ready to put his plan in action.

Inside the room that goofy-looking black dude (let's call him Goofball) in an orange jump-shoot was explaining something to the camera. Poseidon cleared his throat. Goofball signaled "cut" and walked over to where Poseidon was standing.

"Can I help you, sir?" Goofball asked.

"Um, don't bother helping me. I'm really not here to help you," Poseidon answered.

Goofball looked confused. "I'm sorry, sir? Why are you here?"

"Uh…you'll run away if I tell you. But I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes."

Goofball obeyed and closed his eyes. Poseidon magically pulled out his gun.

"DIE, MOTHER FUDGA!" he shouted, shooting at Goofball. Poseidon shot Goofball exactly 570 times. And then he shot the producers and the voice actors. In a matter of minutes everyone that had helped to make Yo Gabba Gabba was dead on the floor.

_Day 4: Athena_

Athena threw on her jeans, T-Shirt, and sneakers and walked towards the local Karaoke shack. The place was called "Voice". A pretty stupid name if you asked Athena. But the goddess totally knew that today was going to be extremely fun. When she walked inside a pretty brunette girl with nice makeup was just about to begin singing the song "Who Says" by Selena Gomez. She cleared her throat and brought the microphone closer towards her mouth.

_I wouldn't wanna be _anybody_ else._

_Hey!_

_You made me insecure, told me I wasn't good enough._

_But who are you to judge?_

_When you're a diamond in the rough._

_I'm sure to got some things you'd like to change about yourself._

_But when it comes to me… I wouldn't want to be anybody else!_

_Na, na, na. na, na, na, na, na, na_

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_

_I'm no beauty queen._

_I'm just beautiful me._

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_

_You've got every right…to a beautiful life!_

_Come on!_

_Who says?_

_Who says you're not perfect?_

_Who says you're not worth it?_

_Who says you're the only one that's hurting?_

_Trust me!_

_That's the price of beauty!_

_Who says you're not pretty?_

_Who says you're not beautiful?_

_Who says?_

…

_It's such a funny thing…how nothing's fun when it's you!_

_You tell them what you mean!_

_But they keep widening out the truth._

_It's like a work of art…that never gets to see the light._

_Keep you beneath the stars!_

_Won't let you touch the sky!_

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_

_I'm no beauty queen._

_I'm just beautiful me._

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_

_Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na_

_You've got every right…to a beautiful life!_

_Come on!_

_Who says?_

_Who says you're not perfect?_

_Who says you're not worth it?_

_Who says you're the only one that's hurting?_

_Trust me!_

_That's the price of beauty!_

_Who says you're not pretty?_

_Who says you're not beautiful?_

_Who says?_

_Who says you're not star potential? Who says you're not presidential? Who says you can't be in movies? Listen to me, listen to me! Who says you don't past the test? Who says you can't be the best? Who says? Who says? Would you tell me who said that? _

_Yeah!_

_Who says?_

_Who says?_

_Who says you're not perfect?_

_Who says you're not worth it?_

_Who says you're the only one that's hurting?_

_Trust me!_

_That's the price of beauty!_

_Who says you're not pretty?_

_Who says you're not beautiful?_

_Who says?_

_Who says you're not perfect?_

_Who says you're not worth it?_

_Who says you're the only one that's hurting?_

_Trust me!_

_That's the price of beauty!_

_Who says you're not pretty?_

_Who says you're not beautiful?_

_Who says?_

The audience clapped loudly. She sounded really good. The girl blushed, smiled, waved, blew kisses, and walked off the stage.

Then, Athena decided to come up. She told the guy which song she wanted to sing. And then she cleared her throat and began.

_Made a wrong turn._

_Once or twice._

_Dug my way out._

_Blood and fire!_

_Bad decisions._

_That's alright._

_Welcome to my silly life!_

_Mistreated._

_Misplaced._

_Misunderstood._

_Miss No Way It's All Good_

_It didn't slow me down._

_Mistaken._

_Always second guessing._

_Underestimated._

_Look, I'm still around!_

…

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_Don't you ever, ever feel!_

_Like you're less than…_

_Less than perfect!_

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_If you ever, ever feel!_

_Like you're nothing…_

_You are perfect…_

_To me!_

…

_You're so mean (you're so mean)…_

_When you talk (when you talk)…_

_About yourself!_

_You were wrong._

_Change the voices (change the voices)…_

_In your head (in your head)!_

_Make them like you…_

_Instead._

_So complicated._

_Look happy you'll make it!_

_Filled with so much hatred!_

_Such a tired game!_

_It's enough…_

_I've done all I can think of!_

_Chased down all my demons!_

_I've seen you do the same._

_Oooh!_

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_Don't you ever, ever feel!_

_Like you're less than…_

_Less than perfect!_

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_If you ever, ever feel!_

_Like you're nothing…_

_You are perfect…_

_To me!_

_The whole world's scared. So I swallow the fear. The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer. So cool in line. And we TRY, TRY, TRY! But we try to hard and it's a waste of my time. Done looking for the critics cause they're everywhere. They don't like my jeans. They don't get my hair. Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time! Why do we do that? Why do I that?_

_Why do I do that?_

…

_Yeah!_

…

_Oooh!_

…

_Oh, pretty, pretty please!_

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_Don't you ever, ever feel!_

_Like you're less than…_

_Less than perfect!_

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_If you ever, ever feel!_

_Like you're nothing…_

_You are perfect…_

_To me!_

_Yeah!_

_You're perfect!_

_You're perfect!_

_To me!_

_Pretty, pretty please!_

_If you ever, ever feel!_

_Like you're nothing…_

_You are perfect…_

_To me._

The audience went nuts. But just then a very snooty-looking blonde girl came up, grabbed the microphone from Athena, and began to sing.

…

_Today I don't feel like doing anything__  
><em>_I just wanna lay in my bed__  
><em>_Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone__  
><em>_'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything___

_I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan__  
><em>_Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants__  
><em>_Nobody's gon' tell me I can't___

_I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie__  
><em>_Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie__  
><em>_'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man___

_Oh yes, I said it, I said it__  
><em>_I said it 'cause I can___

_Today I don't feel like doing anything__  
><em>_I just wanna lay in my bed__  
><em>_Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone__  
><em>_'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything__  
><em>_Nothing at all, nothing at all___

_Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X__  
><em>_Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex__  
><em>_And she's gonna scream out__  
><em>_( From: . )__  
><em>_This is great__  
><em>_(Oh my god, this is great)___

_Yeah, I might mess around__  
><em>_And get my college degree__  
><em>_I bet my old man will be so proud of me__  
><em>_But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait___

_Oh yes, I said it, I said it__  
><em>_I said it 'cause I can___

_Today I don't feel like doing anything__  
><em>_I just wanna lay in my bed__  
><em>_Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone__  
><em>_'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything___

_No, I ain't gonna comb my hair__  
><em>_'Cause I ain't going anywhere__  
><em>_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no___

_I'll just strut in my birthday suit__  
><em>_And let everything hang loose__  
><em>_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah__  
><em>_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah___

_Oh, today I don't feel like doing anything__  
><em>_I just wanna lay in my bed__  
><em>_Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone__  
><em>_'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything___

_Nothing at all__  
><em>_Nothing at all__  
><em>_Nothing at all__  
><em>

The girl smirked and shot Athena dirty look. Athena grabbed the microphone.

…

_This one is for the boys with the boomin' system__  
><em>_Top down, AC with the coolin' system__  
><em>_When he come up in the club, he be blazin' up__  
><em>_Got stacks on deck like he savin' up__  
><em>_And he ill, he real, he might gotta deal__  
><em>_He pop bottles and he got the right kind of bill__  
><em>_He cold, he dope, he might sell coke__  
><em>_He always in the air, but he never fly coach__  
><em>_He a muthafuckin trip, trip, sailor of the ship, ship__  
><em>_When he make it drip, drip kiss him on the lip, lip__  
><em>_That's the kind of dude I was lookin' for__  
><em>_And yes you'll get slapped if you're lookin' hoe__  
><em>_I said, excuse me you're a hell of a guy__  
><em>_I mean my, my, my, my you're like pelican fly__  
><em>_I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie__  
><em>_You're like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh__  
><em>_Yes I did, yes I did, somebody please tell him who the eff I is__  
><em>_I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up, back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up___

_[Chorus - Ester Dean & Nicki Minaj:]__  
><em>_Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away__  
><em>_Beating like a drum and it's coming your way__  
><em>_Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, bass?__  
><em>_He got that super bass__  
><em>_Boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, bass__  
><em>_Yeah that's that super bass__  
><em>_Boom x18__  
><em>_Boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, he got that super bass__  
><em>_boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, yeah that's that super bass___

_[Verse 2:]__  
><em>_This one is for the boys in the polos__  
><em>_Entrepeneur niggas in the moguls__  
><em>_He could ball with the crew, he could solo__  
><em>_But I think I like him better when he dolo__  
><em>_And I think I like him better with the fitted cap on__  
><em>_He ain't even gotta try to put the mac on__  
><em>_He just gotta give me that look, when he give me that look__  
><em>_Then the panties comin' off, off, uh__  
><em>_Excuse me, you're a hell of a guy you know I really got a thing for American guys__  
><em>_I mean, sigh, sickenin' eyes I can tell that you're in touch with your feminine side, oh__  
><em>_Yes I did, yes I did, somebody please tell him who the eff I is__  
><em>_I am Nicki Minaj, I mack them dudes up, back coupes up, and chuck the deuce up___

_[Ester Dean & Nicki Minaj: Chorus]___

_[Hook:]__  
><em>_See I need you in my life for me to stay__  
><em>_No, no, no, no, no I know you'll stay__  
><em>_No, no, no, no, no don't go away__  
><em>_Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away__  
><em>_Don't you hear that heartbeat comin' your way__  
><em>_Oh it be like, boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, bass__  
><em>_Can't you hear that boom, badoom, boom, boom, badoom, boom, bass_

The girl grabbed back the microphone.

…

_Yellow model chick__  
><em>_Yellow bottle sipping__  
><em>_Yellow Lamborghini__  
><em>_Yellow top missing__  
><em>_Yeah yeah__  
><em>_That sh-t look like a toupee___

_I get what you get in 10 years, in two days__  
><em>_Ladies love me__  
><em>_I'm on my cool J__  
><em>_If you get what I get what would you say__  
><em>_She wax it all off, Mr Miyagi__  
><em>_And them suicide doors, Hari Kari___

_Look at me now, look at me now__  
><em>_Oh, I'm getting paper__  
><em>_Look at me now__  
><em>_Oh, look at me now__  
><em>_Yeah, fresh than a muthaf-cker___

_Lil n-gga bigger than gorilla__  
><em>_Cause I'm killing every n-gga that__  
><em>_Try to be on my sh-t__  
><em>_Better cuff your chick if you with her__  
><em>_I can get her__  
><em>_And she accidentally slip fall on my dick__  
><em>_Ooops, I said on my dick__  
><em>_I aint really mean to say on my d-ck__  
><em>_But since we talking about my dick__  
><em>_All of you haters say hi to it__  
><em>_I'm Done___

_Busta Rhymes__  
><em>_Ayo Breezy__  
><em>_Let me show you how to keep the dice rolling__  
><em>_When your doing that thing over there, homie__  
><em>_Lets go__  
><em>_Cause I feel like I'm running__  
><em>_And I'm feeling like I gotta get away, get away, get away__  
><em>_Better know that I don't and I won't ever stop cause__  
><em>_You know I gotta win everyday day, goooo__  
><em>_See they don't really wanna pop me__  
><em>_Just know that you never flop me__  
><em>_And I know that I can be a little cocky, nooo__  
><em>_You aint never gonna stop me__  
><em>_Everytime I come a n-gga gotta set it then I got it going__  
><em>_Then I get it, than I blow, than I shudder every little thing__  
><em>_That he be doing cause it doesnt matter cause I'm gonna dadadadada__  
><em>_Then I'm gonna murder every thing and anything a badaboom a badabing__  
><em>_I gotta do a lot of things, and make it clearer to a couple n-ggas__  
><em>_That I'm always winning and I gotta get it again and again and again___

_And I be doing it to death and now I move a little foul__  
><em>_A n-gga better call a, everybody know my style__  
><em>_And everybody know I'm the the baddest__  
><em>_When I come to doing this and Im banging on my chest__  
><em>_And I bang in the east and I bang in the west__  
><em>_And I come to give you more and I never give you less__  
><em>_You will hear it in the street or you can read it in the press__  
><em>_Do you really wanna know whats next, lets go__  
><em>_See the way we on, we be all up in the race and you know__  
><em>_We gotta go, don't try to keep up with the pace__  
><em>_We struggling and hustling and sending in and getting in__  
><em>_And always gotta take it to another place__  
><em>_Gotta taste it and I gotta grab it__  
><em>_And I gotta cut all throught his traffic__  
><em>_Just to be at the top of the throne__  
><em>_Better know I gotta have it___

_Look at me now, look at me now__  
><em>_Oh, I'm getting paper__  
><em>_Look at me now__  
><em>_Oh, look at me now__  
><em>_Yeah, fresh than a muthaf-cker___

_Lil Wayne__  
><em>_Man f-ck these bitch ass n-ggas how yall doin?__  
><em>_I'm Lil Tunechi, I'm a nuisance, I go stupid, I go dumb like the 3 stooges__  
><em>_I dont eat sushi, I'm the shit, no I'm pollution, no substitution__  
><em>_Got a bitch that play in movies in my jacuzzi, p-ssy juicy__  
><em>_I never gave a f-ck about a hater got money on my radar__  
><em>_Dress like a skater, got a big house, came with a elevator__  
><em>_You n-ggas aint eatin, f-ck it, tell a waiter__  
><em>_Marley said shoot em, and I said ok,__  
><em>_If you wanted bullshit then I'm like olay,__  
><em>_I dont care what you say, so don't even speak__  
><em>_Your girlfriend a freak like Cirque Du Soleil__  
><em>_That's word to my flag, and my flag red__  
><em>_I'm out of my head, bitch I'm outta my mind from the bottom I climb__  
><em>_You aint hotter at mine, nope, not on my time and I'm not even trying__  
><em>_Whats poppin Slime? nothin five, and if they trippin f-ck em five__  
><em>_I aint got no time to shuck and jive, these n-ggas as sweet as pumpkin pie__  
><em>_Ciroc and sprite on a private flight__  
><em>_Bitch I'm enticing, guiding light, and my pockets white and my diamonds white__  
><em>_And my mommas nice and my daddy's dead__  
><em>_You faggots scared cause I'm too wild, been here for a while__  
><em>_I was like f-ck trial I puts it down__  
><em>_I'm so young money if you got eyes look at me now bitch___

_Look at me now, look at me now__  
><em>_Oh, I'm getting paper__  
><em>_Look at me now__  
><em>_Oh, look at me now__  
><em>_Yeah, fresh than a muthaf-cker_

Athena grabbed back the microphone.

_There's a fire starting in my heart__  
><em>_Reaching a fever pitch, and it's bringing me out the dark__  
><em>_Finally I can see you crystal clear__  
><em>_Go ahead and sell me out and I'll let your ship bare___

_See how I leave with every piece of you__  
><em>_Don't underestimate the things that I will do___

_There's a fire starting in my heart__  
><em>_Reaching a fever pitch__  
><em>_And it's bringing me out the dark___

_The scars of your love remind me of us__  
><em>_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all__  
><em>_The scars of your love they leave me breathless__  
><em>_I can't help feeling__  
><em>_We could have had it all___

_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside your hands__  
><em>_And you played it__  
><em>_To the beat___

_Baby, I have no story to be told__  
><em>_But I've heard one of you__  
><em>_And I'm gonna make your head burn__  
><em>_Think of me in the depths of your despair__  
><em>_Making a home down there__  
><em>_It reminds you of the home we shared___

_The scars of your love remind me of us__  
><em>_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all__  
><em>_The scars of your love they leave me breathless__  
><em>_I can't help feeling__  
><em>_We could have had it all___

_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside your hands__  
><em>_And you played it__  
><em>_To the beat___

_We could have had it all___

_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside your hands__  
><em>_And you played it__  
><em>_To the beat___

_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside your hands__  
><em>_but you played it__  
><em>_with the beating___

_Throw your soul through every open door__  
><em>_Count your blessings to find what you look for__  
><em>_Turn my sorrow into treasured gold__  
><em>_You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow___

_We could have had it all__  
><em>_We could have had it all__  
><em>_It all, it all it all,__  
><em>_We could have had it all__  
><em>_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside your hands__  
><em>_And you played it__  
><em>_To the beat__  
><em>_We could have had it all__  
><em>_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside your hands__  
><em>_but you played it, you played it, you played, you played it__  
><em>_To the beat___

The audience went INSANE for Athena. The snooty girl shrieked with rage.

"YOU (BLEEP)!" she shrieked.

"OH. NO. SHE. DIDN'T!" Athena spat.

Chick fight.

_The Hermes Show_

"Alright, guys," Hermes said. "I feel like (bleep) today so I'm just going to go out and say it. Poseidon won. Yo Gabba Gabba were a bunch of (bleep)s that deserved to die. So he won today. Now get out of my studio, (bleep)s."

**Hope you liked it. I made this chapter as a dedication to my favorite songs. I ALSO HATE YO GABBA GABBA! DIE! :P**


	5. MarySues and Senile Fangirls

_The Hermes Show_

"Hello, my viewing audience! Welcome to another exciting episode of the Hermes show. However, today we will be doing…wait for it…wait for it…INTERVIEWS!" Hermes exclaimed.

The audience went wild with excitement.

Hermes continued, "So, today we will be interviewing Clarisse La Rue from Ares cabin!"

The audience cheered as Clarisse stormed onto the stage.

Hermes welcomed her. "Hello, hello, Clarisse, how are you doing today?

"Bad," Clarisse grumbled.

"And why is that, my dear, dear Clarisse?" Hermes asked.

"Because…my _stupid _brother, Derek, hid my sword and my electric spear. Who knows what that idiot has done with it?"

"Why do you think _Derek _would do such a thing?"

"Well, it all started the day he came to the cabin. He was acting like a total jerk. I told him to pick his sword off of the ground and he got angry and yelled at me and said that he wanted to be the senior counselor and—"

"Okay, I don't care anymore. The truth is _I_ was Derek."

"You were Derek all those years?" Clarisse froze. "And I was just kidding about all those mean things I said…now can I _please_ get my sword and spear back?"

"After you sing your version of the Life With Derek theme song in honor of the good times you and I had together."

Hermes made a microphone appear out of nowhere, then he grabbed Clarisse, and she had no choice but to sing.

Clarisse: _It used to be my mother and my sister and me. A happy little family and alright with me. _

_When I found out I was a half-blood everything changed._

_Some things were lost and others were gained._

_A new camp, a new cabin. _

_So many changes it made my head spin._

_Then I got brother who got under my skin._

_This is life with Derek._

_This is life with Derek._

_This is life with Sherman, Mark, Ares and Katrina, Liam, and Gavin. _

_Livin' life with Derek. _

_Livin' life with Derek. _

The audience clapped like crazy.

"Whooo! Give it up for Clarisse," Hermes exclaimed.

"Uh…thanks…I guess," Clarisse said.

"Now, Clarisse I would end this interview because you're more boring than a brick wall. But the 'Talk-Show Host Handbook' specifically states that I must finish every interview even if the interviewee is as boring as a brick ball."

Clarisse raised an eyebrow. "Um, it says 'Written by Hermes' at the bottom."

Hermes made an angry face. "Ah, man. Curse me for writing that book. You see, this is what happens when you're the god of mischief and you try to be professional about stuff…now please sit down, Clarisse."

Clarisse sat down.

Hermes cleared his throat. "Now, Clarisse. Let's talk about your friendship with that Aphrodite chick, Silena Bootygard." 

"Um, Lord Hermes, her name is Silena Beauregard."

"What…oh, Silena Beauregard. MARVIN, YOU'RE FIRED!"

Then, Hermes incinerated a nerdy-looking guy with brown hair and blue eyes.

Clarisse looked confused. "Uh…who was that?"

"My idiot employee Marvin. He was in charge of giving me the name of your best friend. But that dimwit gave me the name Silena Bootygard."

"Oh…okay."

"So, how's your friendship with Silena?"

"She's great for an Aphrodite kid. And that should mean a lot for Silena because sometimes Aphrodite has really (bleep)y kids."

"What started your friendship with her?"

"She gave me advice about boyfriends. She told me I should try to get the guy I have a crush on."

"Percy?"

"Wha—NO! Why the Hades would I like that fish-brained loser?"

"Maybe because he helped you get back that stolen chariot from Phobos and Deimos that I just might have to mention to Ares if—"

"NO, NO, NO NEED TO DO THAT, LORD HERMES!"

"Then confess."

"Okay…I admit I think he's cute…but my heart belongs to Chris."

"Soooo…who do think will win in the Poseidon-Athena bet?"

Clarisse rubbed her chin. "Well…no one's going to vaporize me, right?"

"Nope."

"Well, I can't decide. Athena's practically the goddess of knowing everything. So that pretty much means she knows how to have fun. But from what I hear, Poseidon is a really fun guy. So I don't know."

Hermes shook his head. "Hmm…not the right answer, Clarisse."

Hermes pressed a button and Clarisse was ejected out of the studio.

"The correct answer was: peanut butter. No prizes for Clarisse," Hermes pouted.

"AWWW," the audience moped.

"So sad…now let's get back to the bet."

_Day 5: Poseidon_

"Right here," Poseidon instructed the girls, "Right here."

"OMG!" a girl named Georgia Gina Rainbow Sunshine Unicorn Beam Kiss Love Fairies Winx exclaimed. "LIKE, WHAT _IS _THIS HOUSE?"

"This _cabin_, my dear Mary-Sue, is the cabin for Aphrodite's children," Poseidon answered.

"Aphrodite? Like, _the _Aphrodite? Goddess of Love and Beauty?" a girl named Jamie Lollipop Skittles Kit Kat Mentos asked.

"That's the one," Poseidon replied.

Apart from Georgia Gina Rainbow Sunshine Unicorn Beam Kiss Love Fairies Winx and Jamie Lollipop Skittles Kit Kat Mentos there were four girls. All of them were incredibly and breathtakingly beautiful with eye colors and hair colors that Poseidon couldn't make out. One of them had long, luscious straightened blonde, pink, and blue hair and pink, green, blue, brown, hazel, and amber eyes. Poseidon knew that wasn't possible. But apparently these girls didn't get the memo. They were wore fashionable and gorgeous clothes that hugged their magnificent figures. In other words, they were hot. Utterly and completely _hot_.

Some of them claimed to the child of Zeus, Aphrodite, and Hermes. Poseidon didn't know how the Hades that was supposed to work. One of them even claimed to be the daughter of Kronos. Poseidon almost fainted at the sound of that. After that Poseidon realized the girls were Mary-Sues, the overall perfect girl with extraordinary beauty, brains, and powers. They were also just about the most annoying characters on the planet.

"What are we doing at Aphrodite's cabin?" a girl named Leigh Felicia Kelli Amity Jane asked.

"Maybe we're here to give them beauty tips," another girl named Butterfly Roses Violet Stunning Bunny said.

"Uh, no," Poseidon replied. "Honestly, all I want you girls to do is walk in."

"You just want us to walk in? You don't want us to say anything or do anything? Just walk in! OMG, I wonder what will happen if we walk in," Jamie Lollipop Skittles Kit Kat Mentos exclaimed.

"LET'S FIND OUT!" Leigh Felicia Kelli Amity Jane squealed.

All of the Mary-Sues walked into the Aphrodite cabin. Poseidon hid behind the cabin and watched.

And what happened was total chaos.

"OMG, u-u-u-uh, w-w-w-who are those g-g-girls?" Drew stuttered.

"A-a-a-a-are they one o-o-o-f u-u-s?" Silena stammered. Her tone was mixed with jealousy and confusion.

"O-O-OMG, O-O-ONE OF T-T-THEM IS P-PRETTIER THAN M-M-E!" a girl named Gabriella said. "THAT'S I-I-IMPOSSIBLE, I-I-M THE PRETTIEST G-G-G-GIRL IN HERE!"

Mandy cleared her throat. "Um, Gabriella, dear, I think you are mistaken. _I _am the prettiest girl in the cabin."

Drew took a deadly step towards Mandy. "I _know _you did _not _say that you're hotter than me."

Mandy shrugged. "I didn't say that, Drew."

"But you implied it."

Just when the two girls were about to fight, Silena pushed her way in between them. "Guys, there is no need to fight about this. Now, have you guys seen my makeup kit?"

Mandy pushed Silena. "Oh, I see, you're only using your makeup kit to make yourself look prettier than the rest of us."

"WHAT? Mandy, what are you talking about? I use my makeup kit every day."

Lacy stood up. "Guys, please, please don't fight."

"Shut up, Lacy," a girl named Mackenzie snapped. "You're just jealous because you're the uncutest girl here."

"WHAT?" Lacy yelled. "Troy from Apollo tells me I'm cute!"

"Girls," Mitchell started. "There really is no need to fight over crap like this."

One of guys named Zack pushed Mitchell. "Oh please, Mitchell. Let them fight, at least everyone knows that I'm the hottest _guy_ in the cabin."

A few other boys protested. And then…

(WARNING: THE AUTHOR HAS BLOCKED OUT THIS PART BECAUSE IT IS TOO DISTURBING, DISGUSTING, AND REPULSIVE TO BE READ. THE AUTHOR SAYS THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!)

"OMG, Aaron, you did not just do that!" Silena exclaimed.

'"You're _disgusting_," Mitchell snapped.

"At least I'm a _hot _disgusting guy," Aaron shouted.

Then…well, chaos broke out.

_Day 5: Athena_

"Right here," Athena instructed the fan-girls, "Right here."

"OMG, THIS IS CAMP HALF-BLOOD!" the fan girls squealed at the same time.

Athena nodded. "I give you fan girls permission to enter Camp Half-Blood."

Annabeth and Percy were discussing war strategies when they were mobbed by a bunch of Percabeth, Perachel, and even Perlia **(AN: I think that's the name for Thalia and Percy)**fan-girls.

"OMG, LOOK AT THEM! THEY ARE SO CUTE DISCUSSING STRATEGIES TOGETHER!" a fan-girl squealed. She then hugged Percy and Annabeth.

"Um...I don't know you," Percy said.

"We know _you_," one of the fan-girls replied. "And you and Rachel are totally meant to be together."

"No way," another fan-girl protested, "Thalia and Percy are meant to be together."

"I SUPPORT THALICO," a girl squealed only to be dragged and beaten up."

"PERACHEL!"

"PERCABETH!"

"PERACHEL!"

"PERCABETH!"

After that…

ABOSLUTE TERROR!

_The Hermes Show_

"Athena won," Hermes said. "Sure, putting hot Mary-Sues in Aphrodite's cabin was awesome. But setting a bunch of deranged and senile PJO fan-girls on Percy and Annabeth…BRILLIANT!" 


	6. Ugly Aphrodite Kids and Pregnant Artemis

_Day 6: Poseidon_

"You got the stuff?" Poseidon asked in a deep, rusty voice.

A dangerous-looking man with mischievous blue eyes nodded. "Yeah, I got the stuff. Question is can you pay for it?"

"Yeah…as long as it's Medusa's Candy. It's Medusa's Candy, right?"

"'Course it is. That's what you asked for."

"Give me the stuff."

"You gotta pay me first. Where my drachma at?"

Poseidon handed the man 250 drachma coins. "Now give me the candy."

The man handed Poseidon Medusa's Candy. "What you gonna do with it?"

"Stuff." With that Poseidon walked off, leaving the man confused but happy with his 250 drachma coins.

Poseidon knew that this prank would give him a new high. Why? Because Medusa's Candy is worse than being _bludgeoned_ with the Ugly Stick. You see, a few thousand years after Medusa was turned into a monster she made something that was branded "Medusa's Candy". Whoever ate it became almost as hideous as Medusa. Their skin would turn green, their hair would become vicious snakes, and their hands would become sharp claws. Of course, this change only lasted for a few months. It was a vent that made Medusa feel better about herself. And it was actually really rare, too.

Poseidon zapped himself to Camp Half-Blood. He immediately went to the Aphrodite cabin. He placed Medusa's Candy at the door, knocked, and ran behind the cabin.

Mandy opened the door.

"Hello?" she called.

No one answered.

"Hmph," Mandy grumbled. "Probably one of the Hermes cabin's stupid tri—ooh, candy!"

Mandy smiled as she picked up the candy and marched back inside the Aphrodite cabin.

"Who was it, Mandy?" Silena asked.

Mandy shook her head. "Obviously someone who doesn't like candy. Look what was at the door!" She held up the candy bag.

"'Medusa's Candy'," Silena read. "That doesn't sound too good."

"Oh, come on, Silena. Stop being such a goody-two-shoes. Who doesn't like candy?" Gabriella exclaimed.

Silena rolled her eyes. "I love candy but I don't trust candy from a stranger."

"Danger, danger, candy from a stranger," Gabriella sang.

Mandy held the candy up to Silena's face. "Come on, Lina. Just try it."

All of the other Aphrodite kids ran up and took a piece of candy from the bag.

"We'll eat it at the same time," Silena instructed, though she looked nervous.

"Okay," Mandy agreed.

"One…two…three…GO!"

The Aphrodite kids all swallowed the candy at the same time.

Suddenly, the Aphrodite kids fell to the ground all at the same time. Then, it was like they were having a seizure or something. They were banging their heads against the ground, drool was dribbling down their mouths all the way to their bodies, and they were receiving extreme muscle spasms.

When the horrible seizure was over Drew was the first to stand up. She went immediately to a mirror.

"OMG!" she shrieked.

The other Aphrodite kids went to a mirror and shrieked in terror. "OMG" was right.

Their skin had turned green, their hair was made up vicious snakes, and their hands had turned into sharp claws.

They were…they were…

"UGLY!" Mandy screeched.

The nice and beautiful morning was ruined as the hideous Aphrodite kids ran around the camp, screaming like it was the end of the world.

And it probably was for them.

_Day 6: Athena_

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Athena asked.

Ares rolled his eyes at her. "Do you want to see Poseidon in Aphrodite's clothes or not?"

"Yes," Athena answered. "But this just seems so wrong to Artemis."

"Wrong is what I do best."

Athena couldn't argue with that.

"You got everything?" she asked.

Ares held up the beer bottle and the baby. Then he snapped his fingers and a doctor appeared.

"This is going to be…chaotic," Athena said.

"Which makes it awesome," Ares replied. "So, Dr. Bebel, you will be delivering this new born baby to his mother, Artemis."

The doctor guy nodded. "It's honestly so wonderful to deliver a new born baby. Babies are the future and—did you just say Artemis?"

Athena nodded nervously. "Ah, yeah. My name is Athena and this is Ares. We're all related. Our parents were _very_ into Greek Mythology."

Dr. Bebel nodded again. "It's just ironic how Artemis in the myths was a virgin goddess and this lady who is named Artemis has a new born baby."

Ares rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, it's very ironic. Oh, take this empty beer bottle and put it on her bed. Tell her it's been there for a lot of months before she had the baby."

Dr. Bebel nodded.

He walked into Artemis's room. She was sleeping. Dr. Bebel shook her and she woke up.

"WHO DARES INTERRUPT MY NAP?" she screeched.

"I'm here to deliver very good news," Dr. Bebel exclaimed. He held up the baby and put it in her arms.

"Why did you just give me this?" Artemis asked.

"Uh…it's your baby. You gave birth to her, you're the mother."

"Impossible. I don't have any children."

"Well, you probably don't remember because you were drinking. See that empty beer bottle on your bed? It's been there months before you had the baby."

"WHAT? Okay…let me get this straight…I got drunk…found a guy…and ended up with a baby? THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING…HOW AM I GOING TO TELL MY HUNTERS…WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL DAD?"

Then Artemis saw Ares and Athena snickering through her window. "OOH, YOU LITTLE…YOU LITTLE…UGH! COME HERE, I'M GOING TO KILL BOTH OF YOU!"

Artemis made a very sharp-looking spear appear out of nowhere. She stabbed Dr. Bebel (just because he was annoying) and chased Ares and Athena all over Mount. Olympus.

Yep.

Talk about fun.

_The Hermes Show_

"LIKE, OMG, OMG, OMG. Before we announce who won today we'll be interviewing a totally awesome girl!" Hermes exclaimed in a voice only an airheaded girl would use.

"WHO?" the audience demanded.

"Please welcome Silena Bootygard…I mean Beauregard—from Aphrodite's cabin!"

The audience cheered. They all expected to see Silena looking very pretty with nice fashionable clothes. However, what they saw was the complete opposite of what an Aphrodite kid should be. Silena looked horribly ugly. Almost as ugly as Medusa with green skin, vicious snakes for hair, and sharp claws for hands. She was wearing fashionable clothes, though, but it just made her look more ugly and ridiculous.

"Oh my Zeus, Silena! What happened to—oh yeah, Poseidon's prank," Hermes said.

Silena began to cry. She said in between sobs, "Poseidon…Percy's father…he…did…this…to me and my…siblings?"

"Yep, it's all part of a bet that Poseidon made with Athena. Poseidon bet Athena that she couldn't have so now their kind of in a fun war."

"So…the haunted doll, the insanely hot girls, and the candy was all because of Poseidon?"

Hermes nodded. "Yep. All because of Poseidon. But we must put that behind us. So Ms. Bootygard…ugh, I mean Beauregard. Stupid Marvin. I'll just call you Silena…can I call you Silena…okay, great! So Silena I understand that you have a relationship with Beckendorf from Hephaestus cabin."

Silena nodded. "Yes. Our relationship is going great. He's so loving and caring. Even though he isn't much of a looker I think his personality is overall gorgeous."

"So, Silena, being one of the few nice girls in Aphrodite's cabin…do you believe in inner beauty as much as you believe in outer beauty."

"Yes, inner beauty is very important. It's the reason I fell in love with Charlie. Being beautiful is nothing if you're not kind and caring."

"Why do keep insisting on giving Annabeth a makeover? Do you think she's ugly?"

"No…but she could just…you know…try to be prettier. But she keeps telling me she doesn't want a makeover and she says that makeup is stupid and is just a mask for people who want attention. That's totally insulting! I wear makeup because it's fabulous!"

"So, Tratie or Percabeth?"

"Tratie. I mean Percabeth is cute and everything but it hasn't happened yet…well, neither has Tratie…but I REALLY, REALLY want both of them to happen."

"Coke or Pepsi?"

"Coke."

"Burger or fries?"

"I don't eat either of them."

"Who is your thinspiration?"

"I don't do thinspiration. Just because I'm an Aphrodite girl doesn't mean I have to be an anorexic moron."

"Chiron or Charon?"

"Well…uh…"

"Aphrodite or Athena?"

"Um…"

"Annabeth or Thalia?"

"OMG, PLEASE STOP!"

"Sorry, Silena."

Hermes pressed a button. Silena was ejected out of the studio.

"The correct answer was Fruity Pebbles. And also Poseidon won today."


	7. Kampe Crack and Energetic Aphrodite Kids

_Day 7: Poseidon_

Poseidon sneaked into Demeter's room, snickering as he did so. Sure enough he found a nice little bowl of Cheerios cereal sitting on the table. Poseidon pulled out something from his pocket. It was a little plastic bag with little green gushy…things stirring inside of it. Any god would know what it was when they saw it.

It was Kampe Crack, crack for monsters. For monsters it tastes awesome…but for gods it could drive you…PRACTICALLY INSANE!

Poseidon chuckled mischievously as he unzipped the Ziploc Bag. The bowl of Cheerios was sitting nicely on the table. Poseidon grabbed the bowl of Cheerios and then sprinkled the Kampe Crack in it. Immediately, the crack dissolved into the milk and cereal.

Suddenly, Poseidon heard footsteps. With the footsteps brought the smell of grass. It was Demeter! Poseidon ran out of her room and looked through the window to see the results of the Kampe Crack.

"Time to eat a nice, delicious bowl of cereal," Demeter beamed. She plunged her spoon into the bowl and took a big bite.

As fast as lightning, Demeter's green eyes seemed to grow smaller and the irises turned scarlet read. She straightened, bobbed her head up and down unbelievably fast, and threw her cereal bowl in the air.

"I THROW MY CHEERIOS IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYING AYOO, WHAT ARE THESE HOLES?" she screamed.

Poseidon stifled a laugh.

"OMG! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? THERE ARE HOLES! HOLES IN MY CHEERIOS! SOMEBODY HELP, HELP!" she screamed. "NOOO, THE HOLES WILL DESTROY ME! THEY ARE MINIONS OF THE EVIL ARMY OF FRUITY PEBBLES THAT ARE TRYING TO DESTROY FELLOW CEREALS! I HAVE TO SAVE THEM! I HAVE TO SAVE THEM!"

Suddenly, Hades came barging through the door.

"DEMETER, WHAT IS ALL THIS NOISE FOR? YOU'RE LOUDER THAN APHRODITE ON VALENTINE'S DAY!" Hades yelled.

Demeter threw herself into Hades's arms. "HADES, YOU'RE SO HOT! I LOVE YOU!"

Hades pulled away from her. "WHAT THE ME, WOMAN? I DON'T WHAT YOU AND YOUR STUPID CEREAL LECTURES! PERSEPHONE FOREVER!"

"NO, PLEASE, HADES! DON'T LEAVE ME…AT LEAST HELP ME DEFEAT THE FRUITY PEBBLES!"

Hades raised an eyebrow. "Fruity Pebbles…you mean that silly mortal cereal based on that silly mortal cartoon?"

"NO, I MEAN THE FRUITY PEBBLES ARMY! THEY ARE MADE UP OF COLORFUL RICE-LOOKING THINGIES AND THEY WILL DESTROY OTHER CEREALS, THUS DESTROYING US ALL! YOU MUST HELP ME, HELP ME!"

Hades observed the Cheerios and milk lying on the floor. He got down on his knees to observe closer. He saw little green gushy…things…moving around in milk. He narrowed his eyes. "This is Kampe Crack."

"KAMPE!" Demeter yelled. "YOU MEAN THE GORGEOUS PRINCESS OF FAIRY UNCICORN ISLAND?"

"No," Hades snapped. "I mean the hideous monster, Kampe. This is her crack."

"OOH, THEN I'LL FEED YOU SOME!"

"NO, YOU IDIOT, N—"

The rest of Hades's sentence was cut off as Demeter shoved the crack into his mouth. Hades's got smaller and turned scarlet red. He straightened, bobbed his head up and down unbelievably fast, threw his helm in the air.

"I THROW MY HELM UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES! SAYING AYOO, I LIKE MAYO!" he yelled. "I LOVE YOU DEMETER!"

The two made out the rest of the day.

_Day 7: Athena_

The Aphrodite kids were crying in the forest. Of course, they were all still hideous because of the candy they ate a day ago. The once good-looking children of the beauty goddess were now kids almost as hideous as Medusa themselves. They were in the forest because they no longer wanted to be seen. They had never _ever _been ugly before…and now they were practically grotesque. Some campers even fainted at the sight of them.

"Don't cry, dears. Don't cry," a woman's voice said, hushing them.

The Aphrodite kids looked at the woman all at the same time. The woman looked a lot like Annabeth and was very pretty. She had startling gray eyes, slightly tanned skin, and long black hair.

"Who the Hades are you?" Mandy snapped.

"I am Athena the goddess and I have a way to make you all beautiful again," Athena answered.

The kids all cheered with excitement.

Athena held up a bag with yellow heart-shaped candies that looked a lot like cough drops. But they couldn't be cough drops. Why? Because they changed colors…first they were yellow, then blue, then green, etc. The candies, however, were very beautiful. The Aphrodite kids each ran up and took one from the bag.

"Okay, now for this to work all of you must swallow at the same time. Put the candy in your mouth and when I get to three swallow! One…two…THREE!"

At "three" all of the Aphrodite kids swallowed at the same time. Then, they became extremely energetic. They ran around camp, doing back flips and cartwheels and raping Pegasi.

"WHAT…WAS…THAT?" Silena shrieked as she ran up and down a huge tree.

"Gungi Jin Jin Lin," Athena answered. "An energy candy that Chiron keeps in his office. It's extremely dangerous…_especially _to Aphrodite kids."

Silena looked devastated. "BUT…YOU SAID YOU WOULD MAKE US BEAUTIFUL AGAIN! WE'RE STILL UGLY!"

"Oh…you're beautiful on the inside, dear," Athena gushed. Then in a flash she disappeared.

_The Hermes Show_

"Okay, Annabeth, hold still," Hermes ordered.

Annabeth was spinning on one of those wheel things that you throw knives at.

"I HAVE TO HOLD STILL! I'M TIED TO THIS DEADLY THING!" Annabeth screamed.

"I will let you go if you answer this question…who do you think will win today? Athena or Poseidon? If you answer incorrectly you will be painfully ejected!"

"Uh…um…Athena!"

Hermes shook his head. "Oh…yeah, I'm sorry…but…"

Hermes pressed a button and Annabeth screamed as she was painfully ejected.

"Poseidon won today."


	8. Country Club of Great Immortal Leaders?

_Day 8: Poseidon _and _Athena_

"I'm sorry, guys," Zeus said, sounding the least bit sorry. "But the rules are the rules. You two have been causing too much trouble. First, Poseidon, you go and try to rob a library and a store. Your stupidity amazes me every time, brother. And then, you, Athena, start a chick-fight in a karaoke shack and fake Artemis's pregnancy. I thought you were more mature than that. You my favorite daughter and I expect you to act as such. So from this day on the bet is CANCELED!"

"WHAT?" Athena and Poseidon exclaimed at the same time.

Athena stepped up. "Father, be rational about this. Those reasons are no reasons to cancel the bet. And the bet is only between us…so you have NO POWER TO CANCEL IT!"

Zeus rolled his eyes. "PUH-LEEZE, Athena. You're forgetting that I'm…I don't know…the KING OF THE FREAKING GODS!"

"Brother, please. This is only between me and Owl Head here. So please, just stop trying to get your way for once and let us continue causing mayhem."

"SORRY, I'M THE KING AND WHAT I SAY GOES!" Zeus boomed. "Right, Hera?"

Hera looked up from her book about keeping a healthy marriage. "Zeus, keep me out of this."

Just then Aphrodite walked into the room. "WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU CANCELING THE BET, ZEUS? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Aphrodite stomped her foot like a five-year-old having a temper tantrum.

Then Hermes walked in. "Yeah, I heard everything, too. Zeus, you can't do this. Athena is finally learning how to let go and have fun. THIS MAY NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!"

Athena nodded her head. "YEAH, IT MAY NEVER—HEY! I CAN STILL HAVE FUN IF I WANT TO!"

"Athena, stop lying to yourself," Aphrodite mumbled.

"I HEARD THAT!" Athena yelled.

This resulted in an insane argument among the gods. Athena was arguing with Aphrodite over the comment she made. Hermes was arguing with Hera, telling her to say something. And Poseidon was arguing with Lovely the Unicorn. And NO…he didn't know where the unicorn came from.

"SILENCE!" Zeus boomed.

Everyone shut up.

"Now, first, before I make my godly announcement, Poseidon get that stupid unicorn out of here," Zeus ordered.

Aphrodite raised her hand in protest. "HEY, MY UNICORN IS _NOT_ STUPID!"

Hermes raised an eyebrow. "You…can…make unicorns appear?"

Aphrodite nodded. "They're beautiful, like me."

"Let's get back to the point," Zeus said. "The bet is C-A-N-C-E-L-L-E-D!"

Poseidon raised his hand. "Uh, brother…I think there is only one L in canceled!"

"TUB," Zeus snapped.

Aphrodite raised her perfect eyebrow. "WHAT?"

"TUB means that's ur business, the internet 'YOUR' as in 'ur'," Zeus explained.

"Okay, whatever," Athena snapped. "But, father, you CANNOT cancel the bet. It is between me and Kelp Head over here."

Zeus rolled his eyes. "I don't know, like I said I'M THE KING OF THE FREAKING GODS!"

Everyone grumbled as they exited Zeus's room.

"We gotta figure out how to change Zeus's mind," Athena said to the others.

"We CAN'T change his mind. You know once Zeus has a stupid idea he doesn't back down," Poseidon replied.

Aphrodite looked so angry. "AWW, MAN! ATHENA YOU WERE GOING TO LOOK SO HOT IN MY CLOTHES AND WEARING MY MAKEUP!"

"NOT," Athena snapped. "Because I was going to win anyway."

"Yeah, right," Poseidon muttered.

Suddenly Hermes's face lit up. "I GOT IT…I GOT IT! I KNOW HOW TO CHANGE ZEUS'S MIND!"

"HOW?" everyone else demanded at the same time.

Hermes pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. "Zeus thinks he's the greatest leader ever, right?"

Everyone else nodded.

"So," Hermes continued. "I've heard him say that he deserves an award. SO WE'RE GOING TO GIVE HIM AN AWARD! AND WHILE HE'S OUT, WE'LL CONTINUE THE BET!"

Athena rubbed her chin. "Hermes, where exactly are you going with this?"

"You'll see," Hermes mused. "You'll see."

* * *

><p><em>Dear Mr. Zeus, <em>

_You have been invited to the Country Club of Great Immortal Leaders._

_You will be catered, served, obeyed, and surrounded by lots of sexy women which you can cheat on your wife with. _

_There will also be an award ceremony honoring you for your good leadership!_

_Our address is 149 Immortal Street in San Francisco, California._

_See you, there!_

_Sincerely,_

_The President of the Country Club of Great Immortal Leaders_

"Oh my goodness!" Zeus squealed as he read the letter. "Hermes, is this some kind of joke?"

"Nope," Hermes lied. "The real deal. You'll be catered, served, obeyed, and _surrounded _by hot chicks. Sounds great, right?"

"DUH, SEE, I TOLD YOU! I AM THE GREATEST FREAKING RULER EVER!" Zeus exclaimed. "WAIT…how long do I have to stay?"

"Uh…um…about four weeks."

Zeus fist pumped and went to go back his bags.

Aphrodite, Athena, and Poseidon all walked up to Hermes.

"Did it work?" Poseidon asked.

Hermes nodded. "I can't believe he was stupid enough to believe it."

Aphrodite rolls her eyes. "And he calls himself the greatest leader ever!"

"SO THE BET IS BACK ON!" Poseidon exclaimed.

"YEAH, BABY!"

**YAYY! PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I ONLY GOT TWO ON THE LAST CHAPTER! :( BUT YOU GUYS ARE STILL THE BEAST READERS EVER! :D **


	9. The Exorcist Girl and Blowing a Salon

_Aphrodite Cabin at Camp Half-Blood_

"NO!" Silena yelled. "I'm not going to see Charlie looking like _this_!" Silena began to cry while Lacy and a girl named Janielle comforted her.

Janielle rubbed her back softly. "Oh, Silena. Beckendorf doesn't love you just because he thought you're beautiful."

Lacy nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he loves you because you're a good person and help other campers. Sadly, not many of us in the Aphrodite cabin are like that."

Drew analyzed herself in her mirror. She was _still _hideous. "Oh please, hon. Beckendorf sees you he'll probably die of fright." Drew began to apply makeup, which really didn't make any sense because it just made her look even more ridiculous.

"Shut up, Drew," Janielle snapped, her big blue eyes flaring.

"No, Janny," Silena said sadly. "She's right, Charlie will freak out when he sees how I look. He'll call me a…a…a big ugly…MESS!"

Janielle pulled Silena off of her bed. "That's it, Beauregard, you are GOING to see Beckendorf whether you like it or not." Janielle began to pull Silena towards the door.

"NOO!" Silena protested. "NOO, LET ME GO! JANIELLE PARKER THIS IS TOTALLY NOT COOL!"

Drew laughed as Silena was helplessly pulled and thrown out of the cabin.

Janielle began to push Silena towards the Hephaestus cabin, which was where Beckendorf would be.

"You…have…to face…him," Janielle yelled. She and Silena earned strange looks from the other campers (probably because of how hideous they looked) but she didn't. Janielle was determined to prove to Silena that Beckendorf loved her for who she was.

"NO, LET ME GO, PLEASE!" Silena shouted at her half-sister.

Finally, they reached the Hephaestus cabin. Silena looked like she might shake apart from nervousness. Janielle knocked on the door. Out came Charles Beckendorf, his face was beaded with sweat and was very oily. His hair looked like it was taken over by grease and really disgusting sweat. His clothes were no better. His orange Camp Half-Blood T-Shirt was oily, greasy, _and _sweaty. If there was an Oscar award for worst-looking-Hephaestus-camper, Beckendorf would've won.

However, this didn't make Silena feel any less self-conscious. She knew that she looked bad…no, bad was an understatement. She knew that she looked grotesque, ugly, hideous, disgusting, repulsive and—

"Uh…who are you two?" Beckendorf asked.

Janielle held out her hand for him to shake. "I'm Janielle, daughter of Aphrodite. Please excuse my looks, my siblings and I kind of ate some bad candy."

Beckendorf nodded. "Who's she?" Beckendorf gestured to Silena.

Silena gulped. She turned to ran away but Janielle grabbed her arm.

"Oh no," Janielle scolded. "You're not going anywhere, Beauregard."

Beckendorf's jaw dropped. "Silena Beauregard?"

Silena nodded. Her eyes filled with tears but she wiped them away. "I know, I know, I'm not beautiful anymore."

"Well…uh…I was just kind of surprised to see you like this," Beckendorf responded, feeling guilty at his reaction.

"You mean horrifically ugly?" Silena asked, though she knew the answer was going to be 'yes'.

Beckendorf took her hand. "Well, um…I don't really care that you're ugly now. I mean, look at me! I still love you anyways."

"AWWW," Janielle gushed. "HOW CUTE! I TOLD YOU SILENA!"

Silena and Beckendorf shared a hug.

"I love you, Charlie," she muttered.

_Day 9: Poseidon_

Poseidon snickered as he set up the equipment in Apollo's room. The 'equipment' was actually just a big, realistic-looking doll of that chick in _The Exorcist_. You know, the girl that inspired the _Scary Maze Game_! 'This is going to scare the Hades out of Apollo,' Poseidon thought as he messed with the lighting in Apollo's grand room. Poseidon also attached a very small microphone to the doll, just like the Amazing Amanda doll. Only this prank was going to be a whole lot more hilarious.

Apollo walked into the room, humming the song _Billy Jean _by Michael Jackson. "It's a shame the dude died **(AN: I KNOW, APOLLO!)**," Apollo mumbled.

Apollo flopped down on his super comfy bed. He was ready for a nice, long, soothing nap.

Suddenly…the light in the room began to flicker. Now Apollo as the god of light could've been able to make his own light with his power but he had been hopped up on so many horror movies that the flickering scared him too much.

"APOLLO!" yelled a voice. The voice was frightening and senile. It was similar to the voice of the girl in _The Exorcist _movie.

"LINDA BLAIR?" Apollo demanded.

"YESSS," the creepy voice snickered. "APOLLO…I MUST TELL YOU SOMETHING."

"WHAT?"

"LOOK BESIDE YOU!"

Apollo looked beside him and almost pissed his pants. Sitting next to him in the bed was the girl in _The Exorcist_.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Apollo demanded, cowering.

"KISS ME, APOLLO! I WANT YOUR SEXY LIPS ON MINE!" the voice replied.

Apollo was extremely scared so he leaned over and…and…KISSED THE _THE EXORCIST_ GIRL!

OH THE HORROR!

_Day 9: Athena_

Athena decided to go back to the beauty salon Aphrodite had taken her **(see **_**Chapter 2**_**)**. This time, she didn't want a makeover. She was going to do something sinister. Something so horrible that it might cause the women in there to die!

Athena didn't struggle a bit with carrying Zeus's expensive golden electric hair brush. Sure, he might blast Athena to Tartarus if he found out but Zeus was still at the phony Country Club of Great Immortal Leaders **(see **_**Chapter 8**_**)**. And if Zeus was stupid enough to believe that a club like that existed then he wouldn't recognize if Athena took his golden hair brush. The hair brush was a gift from Hera and it was Zeus's most prized possession. It sparked electricity whenever it was near women wearing way too much makeup!

And in the beauty salon there were plenty of those.

"Hello, Antoinette," cooed Jennifer, the airhead boss of the beauty salon. "Are you back for another a bombshell makeover?"

"Uh…no thank you, Jennifer. I was just so grateful that you made me hot that I decided to give you a little present," Athena replied.

Jennifer squealed. "OOH, IS IT MAKEUP? OR _ETERNAL GRACE_ PERFUME? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE BOTH OF THOSE THINGS!"

Athena mumbled, "You are such an Aphrodite girl." Luckily, Jennifer didn't hear.

"OR IS IT GUCCI STILETTOS? GUCCI IS, LIKE, _SOOO_ AMAZING!"

"NO! Jennifer, I bring you this!" Athena handed Jennifer the tooth brush.

Jennifer frowned. "Uh…what the heck is this?"

"A VERY POWERFUL OBJECT, OH NO! I BETTER GO!"

Athena knew that the presence of the women in too much makeup would make the beauty salon spontaneously combust. Athena ran out and then…

BOOM!

The beauty salon exploded.

And finally…there was less women wearing too much makeup in the world.

ISN'T THAT GOOD NEWS?

_The Hermes Show_

"Poseidon won," Hermes announced. "I've done worst things than blowing up a beauty salon like

(WARNING: THE AUTHOR HAS BLOCKED OUT THIS PART OF HERMES SPEAKING THE BAD DEEDS THAT HE HAS DONE BECAUSE HIS BAD DEEDS WERE TOO DISTURBING, DISGUSTING, SENILE, AND REPULSIVE! THE AUTHOR SAYS THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!)

**So, please review and tell me what you think. I decided to add a little Beckendorf and Silena love in here as well. The next chapter will have some Tratie and possibly a little hint of Thalico. Remember, I said POSSIBLY! :D**


	10. Teacher Fight and Hot Ares Girls

**So, hey. It's me, the author of this story. I promised in the last chapter that this one would have Thalico and Tratie. WELL IT IS! And Percabeth, too! **

_The Hermes Show_

"'Sup, peeps?" Hermes greeted. "I know we haven't done interviews in a while. So this episode is interviews only. And not just any interviews! LOVE INTERVIEWS! Courtesy of Aphrodite…but don't worry…I'LL TORTURE THEM WITH LOVE!"

Hermes laughed like an evil villain as the crowd cheered.

"Ok, our first couple will be one that will probably never happen but is pretty favored by Aphrodite…THALICO! That's Thalia Grace and Nico DiAngelo!" Hermes announced.

The crowd went wild as Thalia and Nico both walked out onto the stage, looking particularly grumpy. Thalia sat down first and since there were no other chairs, Nico was forced to sit on the ground. That made him even grumpier.

"So, what's going on guys?" Hermes asked.

The two interviewees growled in response.

"So things are going great!" Hermes responded.

Thalia cleared her throat. "Why the Hades do I have to do this? In case you don't know, I'm needed with the other Hunters!"

"Oh, Thalia, don't be such a grumpy! WE'RE HERE FOR LOVE!" Hermes exclaimed, doing a bad imitation of Aphrodite's voice.

Nico grunted. "Hmph…why do I have to be here with _her_?"

"Oh, please, DiAngelo. I'm probably the only girl who'll ever be in the same room with you for more than an hour," Thalia snapped.

Hermes shook his head disapprovingly. "Now, Thalia, don't be mean! I mean, seriously, you two were both _MEANT _for each other. You guys are both sad and Emo."

"I'M NOT AN EMO! I'M PUNK! WHAT'S SO HARD ABOUT REMEMBERING THAT?"

"AND I'M NOT SAD! WELL, I'M PRETTY SAD ABOUT MY SISTER DYING AND STUFF BUT I'M NOT REALLY THAT SAD ABOUT IT ANYMORE AND I FORGAVE PERCY AND I'M NOT EMO!"

Hermes threw back his head and did a taunting laugh, which just made the two demigods, glare at him.

"Hermes, can we just get to the stupid point so I can get back with the Hunters?" Thalia snapped.

Hermes rubbed his chin. "You say 'get back' as in you were in a relationship and you broke up."

Thalia blushed. "I'M SO TIRED OF THAT RUMOR OF THE HUNTERS BEING LESBO! WE'RE NOT, WE JUST SWORE OFF MEN AND IF YOU SAY ANOTHER COMMENT ABOUT IT I'M GOING TO TELL ARTEMIS!"

"OOH, ARTEMIS, I'M SO SCARED!"

"YOU SHOULD BE!"

Nico raised his hand. "Uh, guys…"

They both looked at him and yelled, "WHAT?"

"Can I leave?"

"NO!" Hermes yelled. "NOT UNTIL I HUMILA—I MEAN FINISH INTERVIEWING YOU! SO PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME ASK THE QUESTIONS SO I CAN GET ON TO THE NEXT COMMENT!"

They both nodded, anxious to leave the dreaded talk-show.

"Ok," Hermes started. "Now, there have been a lot of rumors going around that you two like each other? Are those rumors true?"

They both answered, "No."

"Hmm," Hermes mused. "_Reallly_? Because, Nico, a little birdie told me that you said these exact words: 'Thalia is so cute'!"

Thalia glared at Nico while he blushed.

Hermes smirked; he obviously was on the right track. "And Thalia…I recall that you once said these exact words to Silena Bootygard…I mean Silena Beauregard: 'Well, I'm a Hunter, I don't like him or anything but I think that Nico is kind of good-looking'."

This time it was Thalia's turn to blush. "Well…it was a stupid question that Silena asked me. You ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer. Like I'd ever think _Nico_ was good-looking! I only said it to please Silena."

"Sure, you did."

"I did, Hermes!"

"Okay, okay, no need to get mad. Obviously you guys both find each other cute but won't admit it so I'm just going to go on…Nico, the first time you saw Thalia, what did you think?"

Nico hesitated but answered. "I thought she looked kind of cool. Her dark eyeliner made her look kind of edgy. But I couldn't figure out if she was Goth or Punk."

Thalia's face softened a little bit.

Hermes kept on smiling. "So, Thalia…what did you think when you first saw Nico?"

"Wimp," Thalia answered. "But he might be cool."

Hermes nodded. "Nico, were you at any point in love with Thalia?"

Nico answered quickly, "No."

Hermes laughed. "Thalia, were you at any point—"

"Not even a little bit," Thalia interrupted.

Hermes rolled his eyes. "Well, you guys aren't going to tell anything so just get out!"

The two ran out faster than Zeus could summon lightning.

"They were very boring," Hermes said, "Please welcome Tratie! That's Travis Stoll, my awesome son, and Katie Gardner, that lame Demeter chick."

The audience clapped as Travis and Katie walked onto the stage. Travis decided to sit next to Hermes, considering that was his father. Katie didn't seem to have a problem with it and sat on the ground.

"Oh, Katie, I don't want a sweet young lady like you to sit on the ground," Hermes said, his voice dripping with false sympathy. "Sierra, please bring a chair out for Katie to sit on."

Very soon a hot twenty-something brunette girl walked out on the stage. She placed the chair down next to Travis and threw Hermes a flirty wink.

Hermes nudged Travis. "That's my new assistant, hot right?" 

Travis nodded. "_Really _hot!"

Katie just rolled her eyes at both of them. "Thanks for the chair."

Hermes shook her head. "Nice to meet you, Katie Gardner. So, I understand that you enjoy making strawberries."

Katie nodded. "Yes, Lord Hermes, I find it both fun and relaxing."

Travis rolled his eyes at her; she was such a suck-up. "Whatever! There's nothing more fun and relaxing than pranking the Aphrodite girls. OH, Dad, one time me and Connor replaced all of the mirrors in the Aphrodite cabin with those magic mirrors from the Hecate cabin. They shatter as soon as you look into them, so the Aphrodite kids totally freaked because they thought they were so ugly that they broke mirrors. Cool, right?"

Hermes nodded. "I'm so proud of you, son. You and Connor. You two will be excellent pranksters! But, Travis, aren't you worried that you might never find a good girl because you prank so much?"

Travis shook his head. "Nah, hot girls always like the bad-boy type. Like that _really _hot blonde from Aphrodite. She was all over me."

Hermes and Travis high-fived will Katie rolled her eyes at both of them again.

"Travis, you are such a jerk!" Katie snapped.

Travis shrugged. "You're just jealous because you wish it was you that was all over me."

Katie rolled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time. "Oh, please, Travis! Why would I be stupid enough to fawn over an immature prankster like you? If your brains were money you wouldn't only have a penny!"

There were a bunch of "OOO"s from the audience.

Travis shrugged again. "Admit it, Gardner. You totally want to kiss me."

"UGH!" Katie yelled, throwing her hands up in frustration. "YOU ARE SUCH A SKINNY LITTLE IMMATURE WEASEL! WOULD IT _KILL_ YOU TO BE MATURE FOR _ONE_ FREAKING DAY? THAT'S IT, I'M LEAVING…HEY! I CAN'T GET UP FROM THIS CHAIR!"

"Oh yeah," Hermes replied. "You're superglued to it." 

Katie had to stop herself from smacking Hermes across the face.

"So, let's continue," Hermes said. "Travis, why, besides the fact that you're my son, do you torment Katie?"

Travis smirked and pinched Katie's cheeks. "'Cause she's just so fun to bother. She gets so mad and it's awesome entertainment!"

Katie pulled away from Travis. "TRAVIS, YOU ARE THE MOST IMMATURE CONCEITED MEAN-SPIRITED IDIOTIC PIECE OF SCUM I'VE EVER MET!"

Travis looked kind of hurt. "Geez, Katie, you don't have to be so mean. I was just joking."

Katie's face softened and suddenly she felt really, really bad. "Oh my gods, Travis, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Okay, okay, enough with the apologizing, Katie. I forgive you," Travis said, smiling goofily.

"Oh, so you _do_ like Travis, Katie?" Hermes teased.

Katie's face turned as redder than any other strawberry she'd ever made. "NO! I was just apologizing because I said something mean and—"

"KATIE LIKES TRAVIS, KATIE LIKES TRAVIS! TRAVIS AND KATIE SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Hermes sang.

Katie folded her arms and grumbled. "THAT'S IT, I'M OUT OF HERE!" She was unable to get up from the chair so she just decided to walk with the chair plastered to her butt. It was a very, very funny sight.

"She's so cute when she's like that," Travis muttered, hoping Hermes wouldn't hear. Luckily, Hermes didn't here.

"Alright, Travis, you can leave," Hermes said.

Travis nodded and began to walk away. "Bye, Dad."

"Alright, viewing audience, our next couple is one that has a _lot _of potential of happening: PERCABETH! Please welcome Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase!" Hermes announced.

The audience went practically INSANE as Percy and Annabeth walked onto the stage.

"Uh, Sierra, please get me a chair. Katie took our other one," Hermes ordered. Sierra came out and placed a chair down.

Annabeth sat down first, looking rather grumpy about it. Percy sat next to her.

"Hey, Lord Hermes," Percy greeted.

"Ugh, call me Hermes," Hermes replied.

"Can I go now?" Annabeth asked, sounding extremely impatient.

Percy rolled his eyes. "Sheesh, Annabeth, we just got here! Didn't know you were so impatient."

Annabeth pushed him. "Oh, look who's talking about impatient!"

"Whatever, Wise Girl," Percy snapped.

"Shut up, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth snapped back.

Hermes whistled. "Whooo, TEN-SION!"

Annabeth had to keep herself from screaming. She had plans to study an old battle diagram in her cabin and this interview was really getting in her way. She knew she should've been honored to be interviewed by a god. But when that god is Hermes, the biggest prankster on Olympus, it was a recipe for disaster.

"Soooo," Hermes started. "Aphrodite is saying that you two will be the couple of the century? Do you agree with that?" 

"NO WAY!" Annabeth exclaimed. But her blushing made it hard to take her seriously.

Percy rubbed his chin. "Um…I don't know…but if it's coming from Aphrodite…maybe."

Hermes smirked. "You guys definitely want to date each other! I mean seriously, Annabeth you've kissed him like a million times!"

They both blushed.

"It wasn't a _million_," Annabeth replied. "And that other time I kissed him it's because I thought he was going to die. I was so annoyed when I figured out that he was with that girl, Calypso."

"So, you _were_ jealous?" Percy teased.

Annabeth punched his arm really hard. "NO, you just made me worried! I thought you were dead! I was going out of my mind!"

"So you care about him," Hermes mused.

"Of course I care. He's my friend!" Annabeth replied.

Hermes chuckled. "But you care about him in that unfriendly way!"

Annabeth groaned. "OH MY GODS, I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE IMPLYING THAT! I CAN'T SAY ONE THING ABOUT PERCY WITHOUT PEOPLE ASUMING THAT I LIKE HIM!"

Percy crossed his arms. "YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT IT BAD? SILENA WON'T STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT HOW WE'RE 'SO OBVIOUSLY MEANT TO BE'!" When he said "so obviously meant to be" he did a very bad imitation of Silena's voice.

Annabeth threw her hands in the air in utter frustration. "DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SILENA! SHE'S A GOOD FRIEND AND EVERYTHING BUT SHE'S ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW PERCY AND I ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER! AND SHE KEEPS TRYING TO GIVE ME A MAKEOVER! THAT'S COMPLETELY AWFUL!"

Hermes burst out laughing. "You two are _too_ funny."

They both yelled at him, "WE'RE NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY!"

Hermes held his hand up in surrender, but he was still smiling. "Okay, okay, you two aren't going to admit that you're madly in love with each other."

"WE'RE NOT MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER!"

"Alright, don't be like that. Yelling is very, very bad for the voice. You two should try yoga, it calms down the nerves." Hermes took a deep, sensual breath.

Percy tried to picture Hermes doing yoga. Apparently, Annabeth was doing the same because she turned red and cracked up.

"Ah, it's so fun to mess with them," Hermes gushed. "Alright, get out you two, you're making my sides hurt."  
>Annabeth and Percy ran off of the stage like they were being chased by a hellhound.<p>

_Day 10: Poseidon_

It was 12:30 p.m. and Paul Blofis was opening the door to his classroom at Goode High School. He ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair and sighed. Being a teacher was good and everything…but when you're a teacher with a demigod for a stepson things can get rather…awkward. Finally, the door unlocked and Paul pushed the door open. What he saw inside shocked him.

Sitting inside of his classroom was a tall man that looked a lot like Percy. The man had a nice tan, black hair, and green eyes the same color as the sea. Paul felt immediately jealous. This was Sally's old lovers, and here he was sitting in his classroom smiling nonchalantly.

"Uh, Mr. Poseidon, what exactly are you doing in my classroom?" Paul asked, keeping his voice controlled.

"_Your_ classroom?" Poseidon said. He sounded very confused. "I'm sorry, Paul, but this is my classroom."

"No it's not," Paul replied. "I'm a teacher here and this my classroom."

"Well, you're not anymore. The principal of this school personally gave this classroom to me. Look around if you don't believe me."

Paul looked around and was even more shocked. Shocked, though, was an understatement. Everything in his classroom was replaced with things having to do with the ocean and sea animals. The posters. The tables. The chairs. Everything. Even that little plaque that had his name on it was now replaced with the name "Mr. Poseidon". Paul gasped.

"WHAT THE HECK?" he exclaimed.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I am now the new Marine Biology teacher. ISN'T THAT GREAT?" Poseidon replied.

"NOO, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! I'M THE TEACHER OF THIS CLASSROOM!"

"Sir, yelling is not permitted in this classroom. Please leave now."

"NO, I WANT MY CLASSROOM BACK!" Paul stomped his foot on the ground in frustration.

"Sir, if you wish to get it poppin' we can get it poppin'."

What happened next?

The first annual Goode High School Teacher Fight!

_Day 10: Athena_

Athena smirked mischievously as she walked into the Aphrodite cabin. They were all looking in the mirror, groaning and even crying over how they looked. Athena cleared her throat.

"Hello, half-bloods," Athena greeted.

They all groaned when they saw her.

Silena stepped forward. "I'm sorry, Lady Athena, but what exactly are you doing here?"

Athena smiled. "Oh, it's no trick this time. It's about the girls of the Ares cabin." 

"What about them?" Mandy demanded. "They're so unfashionable it's a freaking joke."

Athena had to keep herself from glaring daggers at Mandy. She then remembered why she despised the children of Aphrodite (Silena, Lacy, and Mitchell all being exceptions). Most of them were so shallow, so stuck up. So full of themselves. They were absolutely convinced that they couldn't survive without makeup, Gucci clothes, and mirrors. It annoyed Athena so much. But she had to remember to control her feelings. She couldn't just go around incinerating all of them.

"Well, I was just talking to Clarisse and she said that she and all of the other girls in the cabin wanted a complete makeover while they're asleep," Athena lied.

Silena raised an eyebrow at the goddess. "While they're asleep? That's going to be rather hard…but I think my sisters and I can manage it. You up for it, guys?"

The girls of the Aphrodite cabin cheered.

"Okay great, the Ares girls are all taking naps right now," Athena said.

"Well…they _do_ like sleeping during this time," Mandy concluded. "Let's get straight to it!"

The Aphrodite girls all marched out of the cabin with their makeup bags in hand. They had that look on their faces. That look that they were heading off to give someone a makeover. That look was enough to make all of the campers run into their cabins, close the windows, and hide. Makeovers from the Aphrodite girls were one thing that every sane person would be afraid of.

The Aphrodite girls found the Ares girls in their cabins. They were sleeping, of course.

"Okay, girls, we need to give these girls a serious complete makeover. Get to the makeover-ing, move it, move it, move it," Silena ordered. When it came to makeovers, Silena was extremely strict.

Mandy worked on Clarisse. She put hot pink eye shadow, cherry red lipstick, and a slight blush on Clarisse's face. Mandy also curled Clarisse's stringy brown hair, which was hard to do considering that she was sleeping.

Silena worked on a girl named Katrina. She gave her smoky eye shadow and mahogany lipstick.

It took an extremely long time for the cabin to be finished but when they were they woke the Ares campers up (which was probably not a very wise thing to do).

"WHAT?" they all yelled at the same time.

Silena waved. "Hey, you guys. We're finished."

Clarisse looked at the other girls and shrugged. "What's finished?"

Mandy and another girl pulled a big full-length mirror into the Ares cabin. "Look in the mirror," Mandy encouraged.

The Ares girls all looked at each other. Their eyes widened and they all ran to the mirror.

They looked…

They looked…

"FABULOUS!" Gabriella exclaimed. "All though you guys are still wearing the same ugly cameo clothes but whatever we'll fix that just in time.

"WHAT THE HADES?" Clarisse shrieked.

"WHY…WHY DID YOU GIVE US A MAKEOVER?" Katrina screeched.

"Because you asked for one," Lacy explained.

"WHO IN THE NAME OF ZEUS TOLD YOU THAT?" Clarisse demanded.

"Athena," Lacy answered.

Clarisse rolled her eyes. "Yeah sure, like the real goddess of wisdom would come to camp and give _you guys_ false information."

Katrina looked at Clarisse. "Should we kill them?"

"We should kill them."

Ear-piercing girly screams were heard as the Ares girls chased the Aphrodite girls around with swords and javelins.

_The Hermes Show_

"Okay, dudes, I know you all want to know who has won today," Hermes said. "But first I throw pies at you."

Hermes threw pies at the crowd.

"Actually this one is rather hard to decide," Hermes announced. "I mean, a teacher fight _was_ brilliant but so was telling the Aphrodite chicks that the Ares chicks wanted makeovers. Soo…it's a tie."

**Hey, readers. You're probably wondering why I made it a tie. It's because **_**I **_**couldn't decide what would satisfy you guys on who won. :/ **


	11. Mad Demeter,Jason Voorhees,Thalico Date

_Day 11: Poseidon_

"Er, brother, are you sure you want to do this?" Hades asked, looking nervously at Demeter's garden in front of him.

Poseidon nodded. "Seriously, Hades, Demeter will love you once you do this for her!"

Hades still looked unsure. "But Demeter is practically the goddess of flowers? She's overprotective of them and—I don't think she'll like it if I give them away.

"Hades, Demeter has been wanting to get rid of these flowers for a very long time. She says they're the least beautiful of all her other plants and that they're a burden."

"But are you sure we should give them to Hera? She's not exactly a plant lover!"

"Hera is Demeter's sister, of course Demeter wants to give them to Hera. Relax, dude, once you do this Demeter will be off your back forever. No more nagging."

"I don't know—"

"No more lectures about cereal."

Hades's face lit up which Poseidon thought he'd never see. "I'm in! Are you going to help me?"

"Nope—Amphitrite, she wants to spend some—ah—_quality_ time with me. You know how Amphitrite is when it comes to this stuff." Poseidon winked.

"So you're getting some?"

"No…she wants to watch a family movie with me. What did you think I meant by _quality time_?"

Hades shook his head. "Nevermind, good luck watching—whatever it is she wants you to watch."

Poseidon nodded and transported himself back to his underwater palace.

**xXx**

"Amphitrite, do you really think we should be watching _James and the Giant Peach _when there's a bit of a war going on down here?" Poseidon asked.

Amphitrite rolled her eyes. "Whatever, you're the one who's in a fun bet with Athena. If you can do that, we can watch family movies together."

Triton groaned. "But, Mother, do you really need to watch _James and the Giant Peach_? Can't we just watch something relaxing like _Jaws_? It's so soothing to see all those mortals getting eaten by sharks."

"No, my son," Amphitrite replied. "_Jaws_ is a comedy, we're watching family movies."

Poseidon shook his head. "_Jaws_ isn't a comedy. It's a drama or an action film or something."

"Nah, Dad, it's pretty funny watching all those mortals get eaten by the shark."

"No!" Amphitrite yelled. "We are _GOING_ to watch _James and the Giant Peach_ and that's final!"

"Okayyyy," Poseidon said in a whiny voice.

"Touchy," Triton grumbled.

_James and the Giant Peach _was basically just more than an hour of cheesy songs and family references and the importance of friendship and stuff. It actually wasn't that bad, but Poseidon couldn't wait for it to be over because he had something better to show to Amphitrite and Triton.

When the movie was finally over Poseidon said, "Amphitrite, Triton, I have something better to show you."

"PORN?" Triton exclaimed.

Amphitrite glared at Triton. "How many times have I told you that underwater porn is not entertaining? It's just gross."

"No, Triton, it is something better than porn," Poseidon answered.

"What?" Triton asked.

Poseidon waved his hand and the TV showed Hades standing in the garden, waiting for Demeter.

_Demeter arrived in the garden with a cheery smile on her face. However, her smile faded when she saw Hades standing in her garden expectantly._

"_Hades, what are you doing here? You know my garden doesn't take kindly to death."_

_Hades shrugged and then smiled. "Demeter, I have done something that I am sure will make you happy."_

"_What?" Demeter looked around the garden. "WHERE ARE THE FLOWERS?"_

"_You'll see, come with me."_

_Demeter followed Hades to Zeus's and Hera's room, silently fuming. Hades opened the door to the room and there was Hera sitting on her bed, scowling at something. Demeter and Hades didn't make a sound, so Hera didn't notice them._

"_Stupid flowers," Hera groaned. "Who sent these flowers to me? _Everyone_ knows I _hate_ flowers!"_

_Demeter glared at Hades. _

"_Now, Demeter, don't get angry. Hera is not going to harm your precious flowers," Hades assured her._

"_She better not," Demeter grumbled._

_Hera pulled a sword from out of the closet. "Now time to get rid of these stupid things." Hera ripped up the flowers with the Celestial bronze sword. _

_Demeter was so angry you could practically see the smoke emerging out of her ears. "HADES! I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!"_

"_Demeter, I—I didn't know Hera was going to ruin your flowers," Hades said. "And besides, what are _you _going to do? Turn me into a tulip?"_

"_NO, I'M GOING TO FREAKING KILL YOU!"_

_Hades's eyes widened as Demeter made a Celestial bronze sword appear. "Now, Demeter, Persephone will hate you if you do this."_

_Demeter didn't listen and Hades's loud yells could be heard as she chased him around Mount Olympus._

"Wow, Dad, you were right," Triton beamed. "This is WAY better than porn."

_Day 11: Athena_

"Okay, who put this sign here?" Chiron demanded.

The campers shrugged. They were all gathered in front of the entrance for Camp Half-Blood. And they were all staring at a terrifying sign. Yes, a terrifying sign! And how could a sign be terrifying? Well, painted on the sign in big red letters was…

_CRYSTAL LAKE_

The place in which Jason Voorhees terrorized those teenagers in the _Friday the 13__th_movies.

"Obviously the Hermes cabin put it there," Katie Gardner said. "I bet it was Travis and Connor."

"IT WAS NOT US!" Travis and Connor Stoll yelled at the same time.

Mandy rolled her eyes. "Puh-leeze, you two have been saying that for your whole lives."

Travis sneered. "You're just bitter because you look like Medusa."

"_Silena_, I thought you said the makeup was working." Mandy glared at Silena.

Silena shrugged. "Well, what else did you want me to say?"

"YOU'RE THE WORST SISTER EVER!"

Chiron stomped his hooves. "Silena, Mandy, fighting is not going to solve this problem. Neither is accusing, _Katie_. I WANT TO KNOW WHO PUT THIS SIGN HERE!"

"Look, maybe it's just some stupid prank," Percy said. "We shouldn't let it freak us out."

"But what if—if" Lacy stammered. "What if it's the real Jason?"

Clarisse rolled her eyes. "Ugh, you are so _stupid_, Lacy. Jason Voorhees doesn't exist."

Lacy looked offended. "STOP BEING MEAN! IT REALLY _COULD_ BE HIM!"

"Um, Lacy." Silena raised her hand nervously, her voice squeaky with fear. "Look behind you."

Lacy turned slowly. Standing behind her was a tall guy in blood-stained clothes, an eerie hockey mask, and an ax. Jason Voorhees.

Lacy was so scared she fainted.

The campers began to scream.

Jason charged them, his ax raised up high. Clarisse, the brave, stupid Ares girl that she is, tried to stop Jason. She ran behind him and jumped on his back. Jason threw her off and she hit the ground with a very loud _THUD_.

"IN THE BIG HOUSE!" Miranda Gardiner suggested. The campers all ran toward the Big House, Jason trailing after them.

Once they were all in the Big House, Percy spoke up. "Get something to push against the door."

Will Solace grabbed a two huge chairs and with the help of Michael Yew he managed to push them both against the door.

"Alright," Will said. "Jason shouldn't be able to get us now."

The door banged.

The campers backed up. Their faces were white with terror.

The door banged again. And again. And again. Until finally…

The door was knocked down.

"OMG, HE'S GOING TO KILL US!" Mandy screeched.

"WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE AN IDIOT!" Percy yelled. "RUN!"

Katie spoke up. "Okay, hold up! Why are we running if we have weapons?"

The demigods started murmuring.

"Because," Silena answered. "_He never dies_. It'll just be useless! So now I say—RUN!"

They began to run towards the windows of the Big House.

"LET'S JUMP OUT!" Drew suggested.

Jason materialized in front of them.

"Okay," Connor started. "Jason _never_ did that in the movies."

"Yes he did," Percy argued. "All the scary movie dudes did it."

Annabeth rubbed her chin. "Yeah…but—something is up."

"DANCE!" Jason ordered.

"WAIT!" Percy said. "YOU _NEVER _TALKED IN THE MOVIES!"

Jason slapped Percy. "WELL I TALK NOW!"

"But—"

Jason slapped Percy again. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH? NOW I SAID DANCE, MOTHA FUDGA!"

Lacy raised her hand nervously. "Um, Mr. Jason, sir, there is no music to dance to."

Jason growled and made a radio appear out of nowhere. The song "YMCA" suddenly blasted out.

_Young man, there's no need to feel down.__  
><em>_I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.__  
><em>_I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town__  
><em>_There's no need to be unhappy._

"Do we _have_ to dance to this?" Malcolm complained.

"Do you want to _die_?" Jason asked.

_Young man, there's a place you can go.__  
><em>_I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.__  
><em>_You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find__  
><em>_Many ways to have a good time.___

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.__  
><em>_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A._

The campers started to dance. Jason pulled out a video camera.

_They have everything that you need to enjoy,__  
><em>_You can hang out with all the boys ...___

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.__  
><em>_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.___

_You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal__  
><em>_You can do whatever you feel ...___

_Young man, are you listening to me?__  
><em>_I said, young man, what do you want to be?__  
><em>_I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.__  
><em>_But you've got to know this one thing!___

_No man does it all by himself.__  
><em>_I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,__  
><em>_And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A.__  
><em>_I'm sure they can help you today.___

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.__  
><em>_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.___

_They have everything that you need to enjoy,__  
><em>_You can hang out with all the boys ...___

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.__  
><em>_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.___

_You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,__  
><em>_You can do whatever you feel ...___

_Young man, I was once in your shoes.__  
><em>_I said, I was down and out with the blues.__  
><em>_I felt no man cared if I were alive.__  
><em>_I felt the whole world was so jive ...___

_That's when someone came up to me,__  
><em>_And said, young man, take a walk up the street.__  
><em>_It's a place there called the Y.M.C.A.__  
><em>_They can start you back on your way.___

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.__  
><em>_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.___

_They have everything that you need to enjoy,__  
><em>_You can hang out with all the boys ...___

_YMCA__  
><em>_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A__  
><em>_Young man, young man there's no need to feel down__  
><em>_Young man, young man pick yourself off the ground___

_Y-M-C-A__  
><em>_then just go to the Y-M-C-A__  
><em>_young man, young man I was once in your shoes__  
><em>_young man, young man I said, I was down and out with the blues.__  
><em>_Y-M-C-A_

"Now," Jason smiled. "This is going on Hephaestus TV!"

Jason zapped himself out of the Big House.

"That was a freaking god, wasn't it?" Percy asked.

Annabeth rolled her eyes at him. "_Ya think_?"

When Jason was back on Olympus, he took off his mask. Behind it was the laughing face of…

Athena!

_Olympus_

"Right this way, Nico," Aphrodite said cheerily.

"Where are we going?" Nico demanded. He tried to remove the blind fold on his face but Aphrodite slapped his hand away.

"Oh no you don't," Aphrodite scolded. "You'll ruin the surprise."

"WHAT SURPRISE?"

"Nico, I am a goddess. You will not yell at me."

Nico grumbled. "Are we there yet?"

"Hmm…almost…almost…we're here!" Aphrodite removed Nico's blind fold.

Nico was standing in front of a fancy-looking restaurant. In red cursive letters at the top it read: _Eternal Digesting_. Nico raised an eyebrow. "_Eternal Digesting_?"

"Yes, I know it's a stupid name," Aphrodite said. "But it's a hot new restaurant on Olympus."

"Why am I here?" Nico asked.

Aphrodite laughed like the question was silly. "Why, you're on a date, Nico?"

"_With who_?"

"With her."

A gorgeous young woman with straight dark hair and electric blue eyes, was pushed forward by two burly security guards. Nico realized with a start that the girl was Thalia. She looked like she'd gotten a complete makeover from Aphrodite. She was wearing a silk blue dress and black flats, however she was still wearing her silver Hunter's circlet. And she still had her silver bracelet.

"WOW…Thalia?" Nico asked.

The daughter of Zeus grumbled. "I'm on a date with _him_?"

Aphrodite nodded. "Yes, Thalia. You _need_ to fall in love."  
><em><br>_"I'm a Hunter," Thalia pointed out. "I'm not _supposed_ to fall in love. When Artemis finds out you set me up on a date she's going to be furious."

"No she won't, dear. Now, you two lovebirds go into the restaurant. And Thalia…"

"What?"

"You look dazzling, dear. I must say I did I good job."

Thalia rolled her eyes and reluctantly walked in with Nico in _Eternal Digestion_.

Nico was tongue-tied. "Th—Thalia, you l-l-look beautiful!"

"Don't mock me, DiAngelo." Thalia glared at him. "I didn't want this stupid makeover. And this dress is uncomfortable!"

"S-s-s-o yo—you want to order food?"

"Well, I guess I am kind of hungry."

Nico signaled for a waiter. "WAITER!"

An old guy with blonde hair and a goatee rushed over. "May I take your order?"

Nico nodded. "I'll take—say, what do you guys have here?"

"Ambrosia, nectar, ravioli, spaghetti—"

"I love spaghetti!"

"LET ME FINISH!"

"_Okay."_

"Macaroni and cheese, chicken tenders, cheeseburgers, fries, lobster, crab, fish, clams, beer, ice tea, hot chocolate, coffee, milkshakes, smoothies, Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, Gatorade, Red Bull, and that's about it ."

"Okay," Nico said. "I'll take spaghetti and a Sprite? Thalia, what do you want?"

Thalia shrugged. "I guess I'll take a cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry smoothie."

The waiter nodded. "I will be right back with your food."

A few minutes later the waiter was back with a bowl of spaghetti, a cheeseburger, fries, a Sprite, and a strawberry smoothie. "Enjoy your food."

"Thank you," Nico replied.

The waiter nodded and walked away.

Thalia bit into her cheeseburger and scarfed down some fries. Nico stared at her in astonishment.

"How are you not messing up your lipstick?" Nico asked.

"Puhmament mayo," Thalia answered, her mouth full of fries.

"What?"

Thalia swallowed. "Permanent makeup, the stuff Aphrodite zaps on her kids when she claims them. So I'll be gorgeous for at least two more weeks."

"What's so bad about that?"

"Nico, don't you understand I don't _care_ how I look."

Nico looked confused. "But don't _all_ girls care about how they look?"

"You are a sexist idiot." Thalia rolled her eyes.

"You sound like Annabeth."

"But don't _all_ girls hate sexist guys?"

"Mock me all you want. Just don't forget I don't _have_ to pay for all this food."

Thalia sipped her smoothie. "So what if you don't pay? I'm the daughter of Zeus, these people don't have the guts to yell at me."

"Whatever you say. So…how's your time with the Hunters going?"

Thalia's face lit up a little bit. "It's going great. The girls are cool, especially this daughter of Aphrodite named Orinthia."

Nico raised an eyebrow. "A _daughter of Aphrodite_ joined the Hunt?"

"Surprising, right? She said she felt disowned by her mother and her sisters. She's not like the other Aphrodite girls. She's pretty, but she doesn't wear makeup or fashionable clothes and she's_ really_ tough. She's also _not_ a love maniac or a Justin Bieber fanatic."

"Sounds like the coolest Aphrodite girl ever."

Thalia nodded. "She is! So…how's your time in the Underworld going?"

Nico shrugged. "It's…okay, I guess. Persephone, though, keeps turning me into flowers. Last week she turned me into carnations and actually put me in a glass vase. _Not_ fun."

Thalia laughed. "If it shut you up then it was a brilliant idea."

"Whatever, Pinecone Face." But Nico wasn't offended. He was actually kind of happy.

Thalia noticed his smile. "Don't get too comfortable, DiAngelo. This doesn't mean I like you."

"Don't you get bored being a Hunter?"

"Well…sometimes. At times I really wish I hadn't joined—but then I go on these awesome adventures with the girls and we kill some stupid monsters and then I'm happy again. And Artemis is really great to be around."

"I wonder if there's a hunters group for guys."

"Probably." Thalia shrugged. "Maybe one by Apollo, but it won't be for hunting. It'll be for picking up girls."

"I can see Apollo doing that."

They both started to laugh.

"Hey, you want to have some fun in here?" Thalia asked.

Nico nodded. "Yeah."

"FOOD FIGHT!" Thalia picked up the remaining half of her cheeseburger and threw it at the waiter.

Nico picked up part of his spaghetti and threw it at a minor godling.

The minor godling threw part of his meal back and soon it was a full-fledged food fight.

_The Hermes Show_

"'Sup," Hermes said. "Athena won."

**I know I haven't updated in a while, so here is this chapter. I'm back online! Yay! I hope you liked the chapter. That Thalico date was fun to write. :)**


	12. Oooh, You're in Trouble

**Please check out my DeviantART Page!**

**a t h e m a r a . d e v i a n t a r t. c o m (had to space it out so fan fiction wouldn't remove it!)**

_Country Club of Great Immortal Leaders_

Turns out the Country Club of Great Immortal Leaders was actually _real_! Zeus was sitting on a magnificent blue throne along with a bunch of other immortals.

"So?" Zeus said. "Um…who are you guys again?"

A purple-colored guy with a pink sequined sweat suit, high heels, and fabulous earrings said, "I'm Leoria, the Great Immortal Leader of Transvestites!"

Zeus nodded.

"I'm Quapwjuebnduwnaqwer , the Great Immortal Leader of people who have stupid and overly complicated names that people can't pronounce," said a woman with blue hair that had letter stickers taped to it and green eyes that formed the letter "A".

"I'm Perry Johansson, the Great Immortal Leader of Demigods Who Dionysus Say Their Names Wrong!" a teenage boy who looked a lot like Percy said.

Zeus looked confused. "Hey, isn't that what Dionysus calls Percy?"

Perry Johansson nodded. "Yeah, Dionysus says so many demigods' names wrong that they had to make a whole new immortal for it! I'm the immortal equivalent for Percy Jackson."

"Oh great," Zeus grumbled.

"I'm Bieber Fever," a blonde fangirl said. "The Great Immortal Leader of Justin Bieber fangirls!"

Zeus sneered. "Like we needed another one of those."

"And I'm Felicia Fluffy Cookie Brownies, the Great Immortal Leader of Mary-Sues," an unbelievably hot girl with blonde hair with light pink streaks and violet and green eyes said. "There are so many Mary-Sues written by fanfiction authors that they had to make a whole new immortal for it! I'm the queen of all Mary-Sues and I'm the most gorgeous, perfect Mary-Sue that ever lived and— "

Quapwjuebnduwnaqwer groaned. "Okay, seriously, who the hell made her a Great Immortal Leader?"

Felicia Fluffy Cookie Brownies laughed. "Oh, girl with the name no one can pronounce, there's no need to be jealous because I'm smoking hot and totally speshul!"

Leoria nodded. "Yeah, you are speshul. _MENTALLY_ SPECIAL!"

Zeus laughed. "Good one. But seriously, who invited this Mary-Sue here?"

"Oh, Kronos invited me here after he took over Luke Castellan's body," Felicia Fluffy Cookie Brownies answered.

Somewhere on Mount Olympus, Hermes cries hysterically.

"So…what is this meeting about?" Zeus asked.

"Oh, we're interested in the Poseidon-Athena bet," Perry answered.

Zeus straightened. "Poseidon-Athena bet—oh, you obviously haven't heard the news! I cancelled the Poseidon-Athena bet, no more juvenile pranks from those two."

Quapwjuebnduwnaqwer looked confused. "But—we've been watching the Hermes Show and he keeps announcing whose winning. The bet is still on."

Zeus was glowing red with anger. "WHAT? I BANNED THOSE TWO FROM PRANKING AND HAVING FUN AND THEY STILL ARE?"

Felicia Fluffy Cookie Brownie sighed. "Now, Zeus, don't get too upset. Us Mary-Sues are more intelligent than Athena kids and I will help you devise the perfect plan on how to punish Athena and also-"

Zeus summoned a lightning bolt and struck Felicia Fluffy Cookie Brownie. She exploded into glittery, hot pink dust.

Quapwjuebnduwnaqwer cheered. "Finally someone shut that bitch up!"

Leoria looked sad. "Aww, she was kind of growing on me. Oh well, now _I'm_ the hottest person in here!"

"ATHENA AND POSEIDON ARE STILL REAKING HAVOC? WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THOSE TWO I'M GOING TO…DO…REALLY BAD…STUFF! Oh and by the way, Leoria, _I'm_ the hottest person in here!" Zeus roared. "I AM GOING BACK TO OLYMPUS AND THOSE TWO WILL BE PUNISHED SEVERLY!"

Zeus disappeared in a cloud of dust.

"I love you, Leoria," Quapwjuebnduwnaqwer admitted.

Leoria smiled. "I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER TELL ME!"

They started to make-out.

"Ugh, now why can't that happen to me and Annie Bell?" Perry Johansson grumbled.

_Day 12: Poseidon_

"Is it true?" Silena exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

Poseidon nodded. "Very true, he says he wants to meet all you…nice young ladies and that he would give you his autographs. He says he is very fond of the daughters of Aphrodite."

"I thought he was gay." Mitchell looked confused. But the look disappeared from his face and changed into a look of fear as he was attacked by some of his female siblings.

"Turns out he's bisexual. Says he's experimenting," Poseidon answered.

Gabriella flipped her hair. She still looked Medusa-ugly, so it didn't really look as hot as it once did. "Well, he can experiment with me ANYDAY!"

A guy named Ryan made gagging sounds behind her.

Poseidon had to hold in his laughter. "Yeah…he says he wants to experiment with _all of you_!"

The girls started jumping and screaming. "BRING HIM IN, BRING HIM IN!"

Poseidon snapped his fingers and a gay-looking teenage boy with brown hair and eyes appeared.

"JUSTIN BIEBER!" they all screeched.

Justin looked appalled, scared, disgusted, and confused as all of the Aphrodite girls (still Medusa-ugly) ran up to him and attacked him with kisses and hugs.

Poseidon smirked as he walked out of the cabin. "Look at that, I had fun and got rid of a faggot in one day. I am _so_ going to win!"

_Day 12: Athena_

Athena picked up the phone and dialed the number of Aphrodite. It rang for a while and then finally a woman's honey sweet voice picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Athena cleared her throat and disguised her voice to make it sound evil. "Uh, yes, I'm Dr…Ian Kaposkwi, and I specialize in ugly people."

"Why the Hades are you calling me?" Aphrodite sounded confused.

"Because a little birdie sent me your picture, and I must say I am truly appalled."

"What little birdie? I'LL KILL THAT DAMN BIRD!"

"Er…it's an expression. Anyway, I am calling you to announce that you have won the award for Ugliest Goddess."

Aphrodite snorted. "You must be mistaking me for someone else. I'm the goddess of beauty and I can shift my appearance to one's ideal of beauty. Thus, I can never be considered ugly. By _anyone_."

Athena laughed in her disguised voice. "Oh…that is RICH! You humor me! Maybe I'll give you the award for Funniest Ugly Goddess as well."

"I'M NOT UGLY! I'M THE GODDESS OF BEAUTY, I CAN'T BE UGLY!"

"Well, this award is saying that you're ugly. So you're ugly."

"I'M GORGEOUS! I'M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GODDESS ON OLYMPUS!"

"No, you're the ugliest goddess. Congratulations!" Athena hung up.

_Aphrodite's Room_

Aphrodite sat there, holding the phone in shock. She started to twitch.

"I…I'm…t-t-the u-ugliest goddess on O-O-O-O-O-Olympus?"

Artemis walked into Aphrodite's room, silently singing "Run the World" by Beyonce. _"Who Run the World? Girls!_ Hey, Aphrodite, have you seen Apollo? It's just that he's not flirting around with the Hunters which is weird…" She faltered when she saw Aphrodite twitching. "Um…Aphrodite, are you okay?"

Aphrodite twitched somewhere and then began to scream. "AAAAAHHHH! I'M UGLY! I'M UGLY! AAAAAH!"

"What are you talking about, Aphrodite? You're the goddess of beauty!" Artemis sounded confused.

"I'VE WON AN AWARD FOR UGLIEST GODDESS! WHAT…WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY CHILDREN? AND WHEN ARES FINDS OUT…OMG, HE'LL TOTALLY DUMP ME!"

"Aphrodite, you're not ugly."

"NO, STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER! I'M UGLY!"

Artemis slapped Aphrodite across the face. "Listen to me! You're the goddess of freaking beauty! You can never be ugly, you will always shift yourself to one's ideal of beauty, and therefore you will always be considered beautiful!"

Aphrodite seemed to come back to reality. "Whoa…why the Hades did I freak out? I _know_ I'm beautiful!"

"Maybe because you've never been told you're ugly before. You're so used to being complimented that when you were insulted you had a nervous breakdown."

"Oh, Artemis! Thank you so much!" Aphrodite threw her arms around Artemis.

Artemis grumbled. "This doesn't mean I like you."

_The Hermes Show_

"Whoa!" Hermes exclaimed. "Justin Bieber getting attacked by Aphrodite girls and Aphrodite's nervous breakdown? FUN—NY!"

Suddenly, in a white flash of light, Zeus appeared. "HERMES!"

Hermes squeaked. "Poseidonwontoday, goodbye."


	13. Ending

_Throne Room_

The gods were all in the throne room, squirming in their thrones. Athena, Poseidon, and Hermes were the most nervous, because Zeus was glaring at them like they'd just painted his Master Bolt hot pink.

Zeus growled. "I am very, very angry."

Athena piped up. "Father, I—"

"QUIET, ATHENA! You have disappointed me!"

Athena sunk down in her throne; she wasn't used to being yelled at. Especially by Zeus.

Poseidon actually felt a little sorry for her. He glanced at her sympathetically. "Brother, it…it was not Athena's idea to defy your orders and continue the bet." He looked at Hermes, and for a second Poseidon was thinking about ratting Hermes out. "It was…my idea. I forged the fake letter and had Hermes deliver it to you."

Hermes and Athena stared at Poseidon, stunned.

"IT WAS YOU!" Zeus yelled menacingly, glaring daggers at Poseidon. "YOU FORGED THE FAKE LETTER AND SENT ME AWAY TO SOME STUPID COUNTRY CLUB WITH WEIRD IMMORTAL LEADERS! WELL, YOUR PLAN BACKFIRED! WHEN I WAS AT THAT COUNTRY CLUB, I FOUND OUT THAT THE BET WAS STILL GOING ON! YOU MUST BE PUNISHED!"

Poseidon cocked his head. "Wait…that country club was actually real?"

"THAT IS NOT THE POINT! YOU MUST BE PUNISHED! Hera, dear, how do you think I should punish Poseidon?"

Hera didn't even look up from her book. "Justin Bieber concert."

"EXCELLENT IDEA! WE SHALL HAVE SEX LATER!"

"No."

"Okayyyy."

Zeus turned his attention to Poseidon. "You will be going to a Justin Bieber concert tonight and you must listen to EVERY song he sings or else you will be going to _more_ Justin Bieber concerts."

Aphrodite squealed. "EEEE! Can I go with him? I _LOVE_ JUSTIN BIEBER!"

Zeus nodded. "Even better. Poseidon you will be going to a Justin Bieber concert along with Aphrodite."

"But, Father," Athena started. "I can't believe I'm defending Poseidon, but you can't just—"

"QUIET! I AM STILL DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU, ATHENA, AND YOU ARE _GROUNDED_!"

"B-b-b-b-but, you c-can't ground me! I'm a g-g-g-goddess," Athena babbled.

"AND I AM A GOD! THE KING OF THE GODS AND ALSO YOUR FATHER! YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR THREE WEEKS! AND I AM NOT TO HERE ANY TALK ABOUT THIS FOOLISH BET! DO—I—MAKE—MY—SELF—CLEAR?"

All of the gods nodded.

"GOOD! NOW ALL OF YOU GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Zeus thundered.

The gods zapped themselves out of the throne room.

Poseidon zapped himself outside the throne room, Athena as well.

"Poseidon," Athena started. "Why did you do that for me? You didn't have to—"

Poseidon put a finger to her lips. "Shhh. I…I couldn't let Zeus punish you. I'm his brother and you're his favorite child. I knew how bad it would be for you."

Athena jerked away. "I didn't need _you_! I could've handled it _myself_!"

Poseidon's expression remained calm. "I saw the way you sunk down in your throne, you _did_ need me."

"Perhaps…but I do not like _you _of all people doing something nice for _me_! You are my rival and you shall act as such!"

"Whatever you say, _mom_."

_Justin Bieber Concert_

It was torture. Aphrodite's screaming and Justin's girly voice just made everything sound terrible. Poseidon cupped his hands over his ears, but he still couldn't drown out the noise. What's worse? There were five more songs left.

_The Hermes Show_

"Alright," Hermes said. "Unfortunately, Zeus has come back. So…I'm going to announce who won the bet."

The audience stayed silent, eager to know who had won.

"The winner of the bet is…Poseidon! Sorry to all you people who wanted Athena to win, but…Poseidon was just better. Congratulations, Poseidon!"

_Alternate Ending_

_The Hermes Show_

"Alright," Hermes said. "Unfortunately, Zeus has come back. So…I'm going to announce who won the bet."

The audience stayed silent, eager to know who had won.

"The winner of the bet is…Athena! Sorry to all you people who wanted Poseidon to win, but…Athena was just better. Congratulations, Athena! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to

(WARNING: THE AUTHOR HAS BLOCKED OUT THIS PART BECAUSE IT IS TOO DISGUSTING, REPULSIVE, AND APPALLING TO READ! THE AUTHOR SAYS THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!)

**So there's the end of the story! I put that alternate ending to satisfy the Athena fans! Hope you liked the story. Thanks for the reviews and everything! :D**


	14. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

"Are you ready to see the new Athena?" Aphrodite asked cheerily.

Poseidon nodded. "Bring her out."

Aphrodite walked into her room, and a few minutes later brought out Athena. When Poseidon saw Athena, his jaw dropped. She looked stunningly beautiful. Her hair was curled to perfect, her makeup was dazzling, her gray eyes were peaceful-looking instead of warlike, and she was wearing an elegant white sweetheart neckline dress. She looked like the perfect bride.

"Uh…lawl…gah," Poseidon drooled.

Aphrodite smiled. Perhaps those two would make a good couple. "I'll leave you two alone." She disappeared in a cloud of pink dust.

Poseidon's palms felt sweaty. Her twiddled his fingers, looked at the floor—anything that would keep him from drooling over Athena's new appearance. It wasn't that Athena actually _needed_ the makeup. She'd been quite beautiful before. It was just the fact that he was kind of feeling…attracted to her.

"Athena…um," Poseidon tried to make words. "You…look beautiful."

Athena rolled her eyes. "Gee thanks. Never would've guessed that."

Poseidon looked away. "Aphrodite did a good job."

"Well, she _is_ the goddess of beauty."

"She isn't the only goddess that's beautiful." He turned to look at her.

Athena raised her eyebrow. "What exactly are you saying, Barnacle Beard?"

He scooted closer to her. "I'm saying that a few other goddesses could do well as goddesses of beauty."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah…do you want a list?"

Athena shook her head. "No, talking to you is torture enough."

"Same thing for you, Owl Head."

"_Really?_ Just then you were drooling over me!"

"That's because Aphrodite gave you a makeover, _again_, and turned you all hot!"

"WELL MAYBE SHE SHOULD'VE GIVEN _YOU_ A MAKEOVER!"

"NO! I'M HANDSOME ENOUGH ON MY OWN!"

"THE SEA IS STUPID!"

"THE SEA MAKES UP MOST OF THE EARTH! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT! AND OWLS ARE CREEPY!"

Athena slapped him. "I HATE YOU!" She whirled away in a huff.

Typical for Poseidon and Athena.

**READ: Goddess of Lakes asked if I would right an epilogue where Aphrodite gives Athena a makeover. So **_**she**_** gave me the idea. I wanted to add some Pothena…and then some humor. XD**


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